For the past few months, I’ve been thinking and praying, seeking to know, grasping to discover what to do with my life. I have somewhat of an idea; somewhat.
I have my passions. I have my friends and family that encourage me. I have my hobbies, my loves, those things in my life I can’t imagine doing without.
And so lately, I’ve been on this journey. It’s been somewhat subconscious, in the back of my head, and on those days where I’m home alone with my notebooks, my Bible, my phone, and computer, I can choose to either think, or be distracted.
Sometimes, I choose to think.
And those times are the ones where I grapple with my identity, God’s will for my life, what I feel called to do…and I just feel my head spinning.
So sometimes I half-humorously text my friends, “Hey, could you pray for me that I’d figure out what on earth to do with my life?”
And it’s sort of a joke, and sort of dead serious of me.
The other night, someone asked me, “Hey, how can I be praying for you this week?”
And I was so, so tempted to ask her to pray that God would show me exactly what to do with my future. Because as much as I can make plans, I don’t honestly know where I’m going.
But in that split second, God spoke to me, and said, “Amanda, I’m not going to show you the master plan for your life.”
And it clicked.
It’s not because God’s a secretive, cosmic and mysterious supreme being that has no interest in me other than playing with my mind and emotions.
It’s because He loves me ever so much that He won’t lay out my entire future for me all at once.
Does that seem like a sort of contradiction? I thought it did, at first, but then realized this:
Knowing what God has for me to do involves me trusting Him, day after day, that He’ll lead me to the right opportunities. It involves having a relationship with Him. It involves seeking Him daily to have Him show me what that right thing is for each day that comes to me.
As my friend said to me that night, life is an adventure. Sometimes it’s thrilling. Often, it’s terrifying. But part of the adventure is trusting that God will lead us to the right path for us, even if it seems we’re dangerously close to the edge.
I’ve stopped praying for God to magically reveal my future in front of my eyes, to drop a grand scheme blueprint in my lap for the rest of my life.
And instead…I’ve started out my days with committing it to Him, to asking Him to lead me to the right opportunities, and to give me wisdom in all my decision-making. That I’d look to His guidance for making choices, great and small.
And each night, I end my day whispering a prayer of, “God, today belonged to You. Thanks for giving it to me, thanks for being right here alongside me, thanks for allowing me to breathe another day and serve You.”
It’s so incredibly satisfying to live this way.
To not worry about what the future holds, but to be present; live each moment as it comes. To live fearlessly, run with passion, pursue excellence in the life I’m living right here and now.
Conclusions like this aren’t arrived at arbitrarily. They’re not made up. They come from the knowledge that look – this life isn’t about us.
And it’s not always about what we make of our years, but of how we spend our days.
Does life matter if we don’t love others?
Is there purpose if we’re pleasing only ourselves?
Can we be truly wise if we believe that we have all the answers already?
The weeks and months and years go on, and still I learn. I never plan on stopping. I want to learn…that life isn’t about me. That it’s about learning, it’s about the journey, that it’s about glorifying God right where I am, right now, and that love is so, so important in everything I do.
I don’t have life figured out. I promise. I don’t.
But will you take this journey with me? This adventure of a life, this quest to see the big picture? To learn how to live a thriving life, built on faith and every-day, little-moment living?
It’s not easy. It’s not always clear, figuring out what to do or where to go. But it’s honestly such a beautiful, freeing, breathlessly exhilarating sort of life that keeps you pressing on for more.
Haven’t got your life figured out? It’s alright. I haven’t either. And maybe…maybe that’s just the point.
Scattered Journal Pages 
Great post! So true, I struggled with this for a long time. I used to map out a basic plan for my future, and it was frustrating when I realized that God didn’t want me doing what I had planned but didn’t show me clearly any other path than to “wait”. It was when I could finally say with peace “I’m praying about that still to see what God wants” without feeling restless or annoyed because I didn’t know, that God started revealing the next step or two to take in life. 😉
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Thank you, Victoria! Haha, I’ve definitely done the same thing and God had other plans. And you’re so right – all we need to know is the next step to take, and we can totally find peace in that (even when the future’s uncertain). Thanks for commenting!
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Hi Amanda. First I have something to admit : this blog is very helpful especally lately. This post hit home cause I have been wondering also what the heck
I want to do with my life. His plans are better than mine. That’s for
Sure.
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Thanks for sharing, Evan. I’m so glad to hear it’s been encouraging to you. Thanks for commenting – and you’re right, God’s ways are definitely better than ours!
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Great post, Amanda! 😀 It really spoke to me. ❤
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So glad to hear it, Anika!
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🙂
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Amanda, this is amazing! I’ve had what I thought was a “so-secure” future taken away from me before, and looking back now I realize that God’s plans are much better than ours. Thank you for this lovely reminder that spoke to my soul today 🙂 ❤
And your post on BURNING YOUTH… beautiful.
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Brilliant, as usual. I have a granddaughter who struggles with this. I can remember feeling the same way- many times.
Love your honesty, candor and sincerity. It is beautiful real, and I’m sure it helps many young ( and even older people).
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Oh wow, your comment just made my day. 😉 Thank you! Knowing other people can relate and are impacted by what I write means the world to me and is so encouraging. Thanks again!
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Thanks for your sweet comment, Audrey!
Totally with you there – it’s scary in the moment, but can often end up being MUCH BETTER than we ever could have imagined.
Oh my goodness, thank you so much! ❤ It truly means a lot.
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Hey Amanda!
Wonderful post!
It is so true that we need to trust God to show us where to go in our lives, without Him we would be totally lost.
I think all the time about my future years, who will I marry? How many kids will I have? Then I remember that those years are way beyond me and I just need to focus on what God wants me to do right now!
Thank you soooo much! Xx
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Thank you, Amber!
Ah, I do the same thing. 😉 Sometimes, living “in the moment” isn’t such a bad thing, after all.
Thanks for commenting! I appreciate it.
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So true about not trying to take control. I’ve been going through a similar situation, and this is a good reminder. Thanks for sharing!
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Thanks for taking the time to comment, Soleil. I appreciate it!
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Profound. Really. Sometimes the simplest things are all I need to hear.
-Faith
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Thanks for your comment, Faith. The simple things are oftentimes exactly what I need to hear as well. 😉
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Wow that’s so so true. I’ve been feeling the same way recently. I think that as long as we are honoring God in what we’re doing that He smiles on that. It’s not like we should always wait for some magical voice to tell us exactly what to do – although that would be helpful. 😛 Thanks for the post Amanda! ❤
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You’re so right on that, Ashley! Haha, it would be helpful, but it’s so freeing to know we can make decisions in faith and have them be the “right” decisions, even when we’re a bit uncertain. ❤
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Very true. God knows where our lives are going to go, but He’s not telling us the whole journey. He’ll show us the step right in front of us, and we have to trust Him enough to take it and believe He has an ultimate goal in mind that He’s leading us to. This is something I’ve been learning too. 🙂
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Definitely. It’s a hard lesson to learn sometimes, when we scream, “But God, I just want to know where I’m going!” but He is so faithful and tells us, “I know where you’re going…trust me, and take this next step. I am with you.”
Thanks for the comment, friend. 😉
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I probably say that to God too often. But I’m trying not to. I just hope He doesn’t make me wait forever for answers on certain questions we’ve talked about. 😉
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