Author: Amanda Joy Beguerie

Lover of words and Child of God.
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A Poem and Commentary on Slavery and Freedom.

A Poem and Commentary on Slavery and Freedom.

Merciless shackles imperiled my fate;

All were hopelessly lost without grace.

Freedom on the lips of every poor child;

Despairing cries came from every place.

My whole life, I’ve gone to church, memorized Scripture, gotten all the answers right in Sunday School, and all that. I’m guessing that many of you readers have lived the same way. However, that doesn’t constitute real freedom or even salvation.

 

I wanted real hope,

But it just seemed too bleak.

Held back by sin’s chains,

I knew I was too weak.

No matter who we are, we’re all born slaves to sin. I was born a sinner, so were you. No amount of baby dedication, baptism, or prayers would save a human born into this world. But as soon as you or I are old enough to know the difference between right and wrong, and we choose wrong, we make it known that we have this thing – this disease – penetrating our hearts and enslaving us to its grasp.

No one can break free alone, whether the child of a saint or a criminal.

My mind told me to run,

So I tried to flee.

All the while,

Sin gained a stronger grip on me.

All my life I knew what the Bible said. However, knowing what it means is a different story. The Bible isn’t some random self-help fairytale. It is written for us, absolutely, but it’s not a 12-Step handbook.

The thing about Christianity is that we think we should “try harder,” “just be stronger,” or “put more effort into it” and we’ll overcome everything in our lives. But no. The more we try on our own strength, the more we will fail magnificently. The more we see ourselves fail, the more we let sin hold us down.

Salvation came as I realized something:

I’m not the one that holds the key.

The one who could save me could only be

My Savior, the One who died to make me free.

 

No amount of good deeds on my part could earn me my freedom. I was chained to sin, condemned to death, and hopeless. But it didn’t have to stay that way.

I was offered a choice

To go or to stay.

By believing in my Savior, I’d be out –

Why wait another day?

When we realize we’re slaves to sin, we know we can’t leave by anything short of a miracle.

The thing is, we have that miracle. Jesus died and rose again to free us, and when we believe in Him, we are set free.

Regardless of our pasts, regardless of our horrible deeds, regardless of the times that we’ve chosen sin over salvation, we can be saved. It’s a choice.

John 3:16

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.”

John 20:31

“but these are written so that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name.”

His hands reached down to free me

Along with the others here.

All I could utter was “thank you” –

Relieved that He was so near.

 

Galatians 5:1

“For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.”

We are free from slavery to sin! Hallelujah. We. Are. Free. The chains have been removed and we have been rescued. I grew up in church, yes. But salvation – my own choice – was what made me a free child of God.


My shame, my sin, my terrible chains

All have been destroyed, along with my pain.

My freedom is mine, but was never free;

I owe all to my Savior who rescued me.

 

We couldn’t save ourselves, in all honesty.

Let us praise the One who saved our souls! It is grace that has saved us, and not our works. When we were powerless in the darkness, we were given the choice of freedom.

And freedom is what I chose.

How about you?

*aj

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The Problem With The “Christian” Label

The Problem With The Christian Label

We people of earth tend to put a label on things to categorize it. “Clothing.” “Food.” “Books.” “Electronics.”

What we all know (or at least should) is that not everything in the same category serves the same purpose.

For example, when you go clothes shopping in preparation for the cold winter, you’re (hopefully) not going to buy crop tops and short shorts. When you go food shopping for a nice dinner party that you’re hosting, you’re not going to buy circus peanuts for an appetizer. When you want to buy a bookworm a book for their birthday, you’re not going to buy them a textbook on quantum mechanics 401 (unless that’s exactly what they want, of course). When someone wants ‘a portable electronic device,’ you probably will not buy them a bulky desktop computer.

We have discernment when it comes to these things, and obviously use common sense. Think hard about what you want to get, and then get it. Get the right thing, not some imitation or replacement. Get the real thing.

Here’s where the mistake comes in.

We tell ourselves that anything with the label “Christian” on it must be good.

And then we are led so far astray from truth, that we confuse ourselves greatly.

Going back to the previous analogy, if you want clothes for winter, make sure you know what you need and exactly what you want to get, and then get it.

As Christians, this happens all too often.

Friend: “The podcast from so-and-so’s church is so great! Go listen to it!”

Us: “Seriously? That sounds nice. What church is it?”

Friend: “It’s really popular here in [thisbigcity] and they definitely believe in Jesus and stuff. All I know is that it’s Christian, which is all that matters.”

Us: “Popular? And Christian? Cool. Where can I find the podcast?”

This is a huge mistake. When we hear the word Christian, our guards go down and we have a tendency to just accept it because if it’s Christian, well then obviously it must be true.

But that’s not how we treat food! Just because it says “food,” doesn’t mean we should eat it. What about cat food or plant food? Of course you would not eat that. I would not eat that. “Food” is taken way out of context, and of course we have to be discerning when it comes to what kinds of food to eat and not to eat.

Even when it comes to filet mignon versus circus peanuts. They’re both food, yes. Are they both equal? NO WAY.

What we do is we hear the “Christian” label slapped on anything that mentions Jesus, and we accept it as if it’s from the mouth of God Himself, as if anything mentioning God gets His approval.

Let’s face it.

We go to conferences with our youth groups, soaking up every word because of course He’s preaching the Bible (all the while listening because He’s the top youth speaker in the country, of course, and a good Christian!).

We listen to sermons, expecting that everything the preacher says is going to line up with the Bible 100%.

We turn on K-LOVE or Air1 (or Christian music on Pandora, or whatever), and expect every song to be biblically based, because we assume that everybody who proclaims the name of Jesus must have it all figured out.

We go into Christian bookstores and let ourselves grab whatever book we so desire, because if the Christian store carries it, then it must be totally right and absolutely trustworthy.

That’s like us walking into Macy’s and buying clothes because they’re in the clothes department.

We go in with good intentions, but come out a confused and worse-off mess.

Christianity is about being saved by Jesus, absolutely. But as a Christian, you’re not constantly in the process of being saved, because Jesus has already saved you­. After you’ve accepted Jesus, it’s time to grow.

You need the right kind of food to grow, not just any food. Candy does not have nutritional value, honestly, and if you expect to grow because you’re liking what you eat, well, good luck with that.

As naïve people, we tend to flock to shiny and nice things. Think of those “name-it-and-claim-it” preachers, the ones that say that “if you just have enough faith, you’ll be a millionaire in no time flat!”

Excuse me, but where exactly in the Bible is that taught? And if this world is my temporary home, how will being rich and living the dream let me “set my mind on things above” (Colossians 3:2)?

I’m saying these things because false doctrine is really sneaky.

Doctrinal misleadings are subtle, most times. Some can come in the form of denominations that are heretical and yet claim to follow the Bible. Some are evangelists that say you have to earn your salvation, when it’s already been established that salvation is a free gift (Ephesians 2:8-9). Yet others are those who command that you must confess every single sin to God, even after you’re a Christian and God has already forgiven your sins through Jesus. Sin isn’t just forgiven, it’s forgotten and cast away (Micah 7:19, Hebrews 10:17). Those who force us via preaching, books, music, etc. to live seeing ourselves as sinners in the constant state of repentance instead of children of God that are new creations (2 Corinthians 5:17, Romans 6:6) mislead us.

These are incredibly important distinctions to make.

“Christian” doesn’t mean guaranteed to be biblical. Just like “food” is not guaranteed to be healthy.

There are even some blogs I follow that I don’t completely agree with doctrinally. This doesn’t mean that I throw out everything they say, but that I filter through it. So many people have good points, which shouldn’t be discredited. What we should do, however, is view everything with discernment.

The more we read the Bible, the more we’ll be able to see things clearly.

We can’t afford to listen to everything under the sun that claims to be Christian, because that’s not using wisdom. We can, however, get to know the Bible better – in context and knowledge of proper audience, too. In turn, we will learn to discern the truth from the lies, and grow up to be healthy, wise believers.

*aj

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Selfishness, The Holy Spirit, and I’m Not Perfect.

Selfishness, The Holy Spirit, and I'm Not Perfect.

This is somewhat of a difficult post for me to write.

I’m writing this post to clarify a few things, and to apologize to all of you lovely readers.

I have a habit of writing the night before I post something, which is usually okay, but I’ve definitely made a few mistakes when it comes to that. Sometimes, I don’t let God guide my words and I end up saying things that aren’t necessarily inaccurate, but incomplete. And I want to address one of those posts today.

I wrote Fighting Selfishness on August 11th of this year. I don’t regret writing it, but there’s so much that I didn’t say, could’ve said differently, or just shouldn’t have said. For that, I’m sorry. I’d like to address that post and continue with what I was trying to say.

I wrote Fighting Selfishness because I saw in my own life that I had a tendency to be selfish. I like to do my own thing (which is okay in and of itself) but I was perhaps letting it get in the way of what I needed to be doing to help others instead.

That motivated me to write the post, but I missed a key element.

Sure, we should strive for selflessness, because selflessness is a good thing.

HOWEVER, if we are not being led by the Spirit, we will not be able to become more Christlike.

So here is my point.

Selflessness is possible for us because we have the Holy Spirit in us, growing us and leading us to become more like Christ.

There is no “try harder.” There is no “work more at it.”

And just so you don’t think I’m making this up, here’s a verse in Romans 14. This passage is talking about convictions and our freedom in Christ, specifically in regard to food, and I really like it. If you want to check it out, go here.

Romans 14:17

For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.

We have been given freedom in Christ to live in a way that is pleasing to God. Freedom means we “can” do whatever we want, but not that we “should.” We are no longer bound by the law and the Ten Commandments, because that is not what saves us!

Praise God for that, because we could never keep the law perfectly.

Back to my points on the selfishness article.

I didn’t say anything about the Holy Spirit there because I was so focused on how selfishness isn’t living like a true Christian should.

That’s not the point at all, though.

The point is to grow in an understanding of the amazing grace of God. To live by the Holy Spirit’s leading, and not by a list of do’s and don’t’s, and should’s and shouldn’t’s.

This is what prompts us to live selflessly.

 

I’m so sorry if my tone has ever been a “you have to do ____” instead of an encouragement to live out our faith with joy. I want to inspire us to live lives that are led by the Holy Spirit, and not just some laws. Because that’s not right.

We should live selflessly, yeah. But we shouldn’t be aiming to live more this or more that. Our aim should be to grow in Christ, to please Him, and to become more like Him. Not to follow some rules in order to be better people.

By living a life that is led by the Holy Spirit, our selflessness flows from that. Why? Because ultimately, it’s not about us. If we become selfless because of our own doing, then we’d have something to boast about, which we don’t. If we succeed at something, it will always be God working through us and not us doing it on our own.

That’s basically the point that I want to clarify today. I’m sorry that I didn’t say it before.

Thank you all for being patient with me as I grow in my own faith!

*aj

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Searching For Significance? I Found It.

Searching For Significance? I Found It.

Significance.

The meaning of life. What is it?

The question we’ve all been asking since we came to the realization of what life is.

We are born, we live, we die. And in those moments in between, during the moments that we live and move and breathe, we get glimpses of joy and peace, and sorrow and tragedy. And we think to ourselves, Is this really what life’s all about?

The feelings? The pleasure? The darkness, the light?

The dreams, or reality?

These are the questions we ask ourselves.

What is morality? Truth? Is it even real?

My friends, I want to share some things with you. Things that I know we all have questioned, and things that have real answers.

We all search for significance.

No matter who we are, we all want to make our imprint in the world. A lot of us want to be famous, or loved, or rich, or successful. In essence, we want to be happy.

That’s why so many people cling to the line, “follow your dreams,” even if their dreams lead them down the wrong path.

“Follow your heart” becomes the replacement for true significance, because that’s what people think will lead them to be fulfilled.

If life ends once we die…and we only live once…then it stands to reason that we should enjoy life while it lasts, right?

Well, yes and no.

The thing is, when we pursue significance by chasing fleeting happiness, we discard the idea that what happens after we die matters. We adopt the lie that says that the here and now is what’s of utmost importance.

As a Christian, I cannot accept that.

Humans are eternal beings created by an eternal God. (More on this in a minute.)

We were all born with a craving. A craving for love, for meaning, and for hope.

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that we live in a broken world.

But it does take Someone as powerful as God to fix it.

Don’t ask me why God created this world when He knew that we’d rebel against Him and mar it. Because I don’t know.

But what I do know is that His love is more powerful than our sin.

And the search for significance? We search because without God, things do not make any sense.

 

Why would things spring into existence? Let’s just say that if things could spring into existence, they’d be like cloned blobs of matter.

Why would God create a place that would doom itself to destruction?

Because He had a plan all along.

His plan was to save us, and in doing so, He showed us love.

Love is where we find our significance.

 

But not in some human relationship.

 

The only significance and meaning we will ever find is in a relationship with God, which we can now have.

 

We can know love by the grace of God and blood of Jesus.

 

I said earlier that we are eternal beings. Death is not the end; it is the gate. The gate to all eternity is opened at death, and it’s decided by what happens in our lives.

The gate to heaven is only opened by believing on Jesus to forgive our sins on this earth in order to be right with God. And the crazy cool thing is this:

What satisfies us on this earth — a relationship with God — is what grants us salvation and entrance into heaven.

 

There needn’t be any more search for significance. It’s finished.

And there is a beautiful solution.

Love has come to us. Love has won us over. And love will lead us to our eternal home.

*aj

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The Crossways BLOG TOUR – Author Interview + Giveaway!

The Crossways Blog Tour Header

Yesterday, I shared my review for The Crossways by Morgan Elizabeth Huneke. See that here, or scroll down if you’re on the Scattered Journal Pages home page.

Before I begin, I’ll share about the book, about Morgan, and then we’ll get on with the interview.

The Crossways Cover

About the Book

“M’lady, it has been fairly well confirmed that the Redona was hidden away by the merfolk at the conclusion of the Great War instead of destroyed as was commanded. My brother has confirmed to me Joseph’s belief that it was concealed at the Crossways.”

Toarna pressed her fingertips together in thought. “It must be recovered and destroyed as was at first intended.”

Emily, Allan, Jill, and Joey have been reunited with their long lost ancestors. But with that reunion comes the true beginning of their quest: free the rightful king of Calhortz so that he may be restored to his throne. The Redona, the only object that can free him from his long imprisonment, is rumored to be concealed in The Crossways, a mountain across the sea which cannot be entered.

A slave since birth, Adriel’s resentment and hatred towards the strytes only grows as his family is continually ripped from him. He longs for the freedom the Time Captives are prophesied to bring, but he doubts their existence, just as he doubts God’s love. Circumstances in Calhortz are so dire. How could they ever improve?

Who can enter The Crossways? Will the king ever be freed? Or will the slaves of Calhortz lose all hope of freedom before it is even offered to them?

The Crossways is the second book of the Time Captives trilogy, a tale of faith, family, fantasy, and a fight for truth and freedom.

Buy Now

Kindle ~ Paperback ~ Signed Copy

Goodreads link: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/25990964-the-crossways

 

About the Author

Morgan Huneke Profile

Morgan Elizabeth Huneke is a homeschool graduate who lives in Georgia. She has enjoyed creating characters and writing stories since early childhood. Her other interests include reading, playing the piano and violin, and politics. She is the author of Across the Stars and The Experiment.

You can connect with Morgan on her website, blog, Facebook, Twitter, Google Plus, and Pinterest.

And finally, the interview. 😀

Hi Morgan! Thanks for joining me here at Scattered Journal Pages. Tell me a few things that most people won’t easily guess about yourself.

*racks brain for something that’s not obvious* I have a hard time hiding things, and I’m super easy to read, but I’ll try. I don’t really like to watch TV just for the sake of watching TV. I like watching it when there’s something I want to watch. Which does happen a lot, but sometimes I don’t feel like watching anything. I’ve gotten “why did you do that?” from my sister for turning the TV off after the news. Hmm, I have an irrational fear of the wheels falling off our minivan while I’m driving. Not really sure where that came from. I don’t like to sit around and do nothing. It bores me and I feel like I’m wasting time, even if the reason I’m sitting around doing nothing is because I’m sick or I have a migraine or something. I’m really bad at foreign language. I’m pretty good at English, and it’s so easy. But when it comes to foreign language, forget it. I’m not really the best at geography either. I prefer to focus on things I like, like history and literature and music and writing and sewing (when I feel like it) and watching kids.

When did the idea first come to you for the Time Captives trilogy, and how long was it before you started writing and developing the books?

I can’t exactly remember, I didn’t start putting dates on things until a few years later, but I think sometime in 2011. I came up with some things then, but I finished Across the Stars and The Experiment before starting it, so a lot of things got thrown out. I mean, a lot. I started actually writing it at Disney World on December 10, 2012, so it was probably about a year and a half between the idea and actually getting the prologue down on paper.

How long does it usually take on average for you to write and publish a new book?

About 2½ to 3 years, which flies right in the face of my thinking I’m a slow writer. My ideas do usually sit in my brain and simmer for a while before I actually start putting them down on paper, though, so that adds a good bit of uncounted time. And there are little snippets of stories sitting on my computer that I won’t count towards writing time until I actually get serious about working on them. So from the time I get serious about a project to when I publish it is 2½ to 3 years. Except The Experiment. That was a year and a half.

Which character in any of the Time Captives books do you most relate to, and why?

Probably Jill, because we have the same personality type. I swear, I gave her a personality type before I even knew my own! But she’s sweeter than I am and more willing to step outside of her comfort zone when need be. But there’s some of me in all of them. I can relate to Emily and George and Abigail and Adriel and Jonathan…okay, yeah, I relate to Jonathan because I channeled all my Narnia love into him. Is that a problem? 😉

What was the hardest aspect of this book and trilogy to write?

The Time Captives. They were really difficult characters to work with. While other characters like Adriel and Grant jumped onto the page with full personality, the Time Captives didn’t want to let me in. And they were always dragging their feet about their quest. Plus there’s so many of them. I’m never writing a story with that big of a main group again. My poor brain just can’t handle it all.

Do you plot out and plan your stories before or while you write?

A little bit of both. I always have a general idea of what’s going to happen before I start a story. At least, with the stories I’ve been able to finish. Basically, I start with a beginning, an end goal, main characters, and a few scenes from the middle that may or may not end up in the book. For some stories, like my outer space dystopian, I had the full storyline written out. But with that, I ended up scrapping it and just writing down the major plot points. For Time Captives, I restructured it so many times that the plot points weren’t written down until I was halfway through. I like having plot points beforehand, so I know where I’m going. However, I rarely plan any deeper than that, I like to figure it out as I go along, unless I run across a point where I’m stuck, and then I stop and plan it before continuing.

What do you hope that readers will take away from The Crossways?

Primarily the Gospel. This is actually my first book with an explicit Gospel message. But also that God uses everything, even the worst of circumstances, for good. And that being dishonest is never worth it, even if it seems so at the time.

Thanks for taking the time to answer my questions! I wish you the best with your release of The Crossways.

Thanks for having me! I enjoyed it.

Giveaway

Join in the excitement of Time Captives and enter to win a special prize! The first prize winner will receive a signed copy of The Crossways. The second prize winner will receive an eCopy of The Crossways in the eBook format of his/her choice. Giveaway open to U.S. residents only.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

For more stops on the blog tour, go to http://morganhuneke.blogspot.com/2015/10/release-day-for-crossways.html

*AJ

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The Crossways BLOG TOUR – Book Review + Giveaway!

The Crossways Blog Tour Header

Remember the cover reveal I did for this book a few weeks ago? Well, the book is FINALLY HERE!!! Yay!! So. Without further adieu, let us take a look at what it’s about (if you don’t know already).

The Crossways Cover

 

About the Book

“M’lady, it has been fairly well confirmed that the Redona was hidden away by the merfolk at the conclusion of the Great War instead of destroyed as was commanded. My brother has confirmed to me Joseph’s belief that it was concealed at the Crossways.”

Toarna pressed her fingertips together in thought. “It must be recovered and destroyed as was at first intended.”

Emily, Allan, Jill, and Joey have been reunited with their long lost ancestors. But with that reunion comes the true beginning of their quest: free the rightful king of Calhortz so that he may be restored to his throne. The Redona, the only object that can free him from his long imprisonment, is rumored to be concealed in The Crossways, a mountain across the sea which cannot be entered.

A slave since birth, Adriel’s resentment and hatred towards the strytes only grows as his family is continually ripped from him. He longs for the freedom the Time Captives are prophesied to bring, but he doubts their existence, just as he doubts God’s love. Circumstances in Calhortz are so dire. How could they ever improve?

Who can enter The Crossways? Will the king ever be freed? Or will the slaves of Calhortz lose all hope of freedom before it is even offered to them?

The Crossways is the second book of the Time Captives trilogy, a tale of faith, family, fantasy, and a fight for truth and freedom.

Buy Now

Kindle ~ Paperback ~ Signed Copy

Goodreads link: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/25990964-the-crossways

And about the author! Morgan! She’s a wonderful author that I get to be a fan of, and a wonderful person that I am blessed to call my friend. Tomorrow, I’ll be interviewing her, but for today, you get a little snippet of who she is and what she’s about. 😀

About the Author

Morgan Huneke Profile

Morgan Elizabeth Huneke is a homeschool graduate who lives in Georgia. She has enjoyed creating characters and writing stories since early childhood. Her other interests include reading, playing the piano and violin, and politics. She is the author of Across the Stars and The Experiment.

You can connect with Morgan on her website, blog, Facebook, Twitter, Google Plus, and Pinterest.

And here is my long-awaited review of The Crossways. Enjoy!

FIVE STARS: (5/5)

Ah, such a great book! Where do I even start?

(Maybe I should start with telling you all that my review for the first book, Creighton Hill,  is here on Goodreads, I just haven’t gotten around to posting it on my blog yet.)

Alright. I wouldn’t consider myself a terrible reader, I just got sidetracked with some other books (like, four) while reading this one. And I can’t focus well on more than one book at one time, so I pushed it aside.

The more I read of The Crossways, the more I was interested and wanted to keep reading it. It was great.

I finally finished it the day after the release, and two days before my review was supposed to be up…AND COME ON PEOPLE, I WANT MORE TIME CAPTIVES!

Seriously! It was so great! I just had to let myself get into it first.

The Crossways follows a few storylines. We have the Time Captives (the kids who are stuck as kids in the land of Calhortea), Adriel (he’s a slave and gladiator, and just so great!), and Eleanor (flashbacks to her life; she’s a Time Captive and a heart-wrenching 3-D character). Emily’s character got the most POV (point-of-view) out of all the rest of the Hubbards.

There’s something called the Redona at The Crossways. The Redona is an object that will be able to free the true king of Calhortz, who’s trapped on an island, but it’s virtually impossible to get to and then retrieve, and if anyone with royal blood tries to leave, they die. The journey of the book (because every good book just HAS to have a journey) isn’t just to get to The Crossways, or even get inside. It’s also made up of the personal journeys of Adriel, and Emily, and Eleanor. It’s just so good.

Pros:

-The Gospel Message! It’s a children’s book, but the Gospel message is very clear and still enjoyable of a book. It would be a great tool for middle-grade kids to 1) understand their faith more 2) see how faith works out in their lives and 3) make the most out of what they’ve been given, because they can know that God is with them through it all.

-The Plot! It’s so fresh and new and unique and exciting and terrifying! It’s awesome. Portal fantasy is a favorite genre of mine.

-The worldbuilding! Such fun. So cool. I still need to understand the map better, because I’m terrible at comprehending those kinds of things, but what we saw of Calhortea was GREAT.

-DRAGONS. Well, one dragon. She’s a really good dragon at that. (Hehehe.)

-Gladiators. It’s a sad concept, but has always intrigued me.

-Boats and pirates. Because. They’re cool. Boats are great and pirates are evil, so it evens out.

-Ships. (Yes, both meanings of the word…I just had to do that.) The Andaron is really cool, and for those of you who know what the term ‘shipping’ refers to when referring to characters, Weathersbard is heartbreaking and Jill/Adriel is adorable but they’re kids. So…PLEASE MORGAN, MAKE JILL COME BACK TO CALHORTEA WHEN SHE’S GROWN UP AND COME MARRY ADRIEL. Havilan/Adriana will be a great thing to look forward to. 😀

Cons:

-There were a ton of characters, so some of them didn’t have time to be properly developed. For example, I thought Draewin was a girl until I heard Havilan call him brother…oops. I’m sure it was just me, so whatever. It’s okay. The things I needed to understand were covered, there just seemed to be a few too many characters to really get to know well. And some of the Time Captives got a little lost in my head, because there are fourteen. Obviously you can’t follow them all.

That is okay, though. No book can be 100% perfect, and I forgive!

There weren’t really any other cons, so yaaaayyyyyy!

This book totally topped the first one, even though that one was really awesome.

Are you convinced to read it yet? Go buy it! And the first one, too. It’s really great, and I promise you’ll enjoy it.

AND A GIVEAWAY! Who doesn’t like winning free stuff? (I don’t know, but I love it!) So be sure to enter, pleasepleaseplease do.

Giveaway

Join in the excitement of Time Captives and enter to win a special prize! The first prize winner will receive a signed copy of The Crossways. The second prize winner will receive an eCopy of The Crossways in the eBook format of his/her choice. Giveaway open to U.S. residents only.

a Rafflecopter giveaway//widget-prime.rafflecopter.com/launch.js

If the giveaway doesn’t embed, click here for the direct link. http://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/display/63d9bc8b5/

More Stops On The Tour!

Monday, October 19

Tuesday, October 20

Wednesday, October 21

Thursday, October 22

Friday, October 23

Saturday, October 24

Monday, October 26

*aj

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Do I Really Trust? Let’s Find Out…

Do I Really Trust Let's Find Out...

This blog is titled Scattered Journal Pages for a reason, and it’s time I use the theme more than I do.

These are my contemplations, and the equivalent of what I would write (sort of) in my journal. My contemplations. Things I’m feeling, and learning, and growing from.

Yesterday (Monday) was a miserable day for me.

Actually, it really wasn’t miserable, but I was miserable. My attitude. My feelings. My outlook. And yes, a few days before, I had just written about not forgetting my joy.

I felt like a hypocrite, I really did. This girl who claims that joy lasts is not living with a joyful spirit.

And I mean, that totally happens. Sometimes we just succumb to our dark circumstances and make ourselves see only bitter dark tunnels with no end.

Some things have happened that have weighed on me emotionally, and I let that become the end.

Some people say they ‘can’t feel,’ but for me, it felt like I was just feeling so much. And for my future, I’m scared.

I have to do my own invented version of self-analysis when I feel this way.

Why am I so down?

I’m down because I’m scared to death.

Why am I so scared?

Because I have no idea what’s coming in the future.

Do I trust God?

Of course I trust God. Don’t I?

Do I trust that God’s plan is best, even when I can’t see it?

Well, I know it is.

 

Yes, but do I really trust? Do I trust that He will bring me through everything that happens to accomplish His plan?

Yes…I think so.

 

Do I trust that even if He doesn’t bring me through, that it’s for the best?

I don’t know. I should. Because I know it is. So, yes.

 

Then why am I still afraid?

Because…what if things never get better? What if my life stays just like this forever? What if I’m hopelessly lost for the rest of my life?

 

Should that really be my concern, though? Okay, let’s say things never get better. Say I have to live with my circumstances how they are long-term. Do I still trust that God’s way is perfect? Do I still believe that God has my life under control, that what happens happens, and that He will never leave me or forsake me?

*thinks for a long while* Yes, I do trust.

The light is what we make of it.

I told myself I was fumbling around in darkness. I told myself I had to be miserable. I told myself I was in a tunnel without and end. I told myself that there was no light.

 

But those are lies.

 

I forgot (temporarily) what the Bible says.

1 Thessalonians 5:18

“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”

I wasn’t giving thanks and living with what God had given me. But now I am.

2 Samuel 22:31

“This God—his way is perfect;

the word of the Lord proves true;

he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him.”

I wasn’t trusting that as hard as God’s plan may be, that it is the best. Now I am.

Jeremiah 29:11

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

I wasn’t trusting that God’s plans for me were for my welfare, future, or hope. But now I realize that they are.

Isaiah 55:8-9

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”

I was basing my fear of insecurity off of my perception of what was going on. Instead, I’ve refocused. I’ve realized that things may look like they’re impossible, but God has a plan through it all. That His ways are far better than mine.

The verses speak for themselves.

I want to encourage all of you today, don’t give up on trusting God.

Don’t give in to the lies that hold you captive.

Never lose hope that God’s ways are best, and whatever happens is for your good and His glory.

And please remind me of all of this when I feel like I’m in the dark!

*aj

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Why Joy Satisfies Me (More Than Anything Else)

Why Joy Satisfies Me (More Than Anything Else)

In my very first post, waaaayyyyy back on February 17, 2015, I talked about happiness vs. joy. I was a little baby blogling, testing out my writing voice in a little corner of the blogosphere, and didn’t quite know what I was doing. (It’s not my favorite post.) But I decided that the points in there were still important, regardless of the quality of writing.

I’ve been thinking about names recently. I’m Amanda Joy Beguerie. When I was six, I decided that I was going to change my name to Clara when I turned eighteen (and for the record, Clara just so happens to be the name of my book character twin). In addition, I always thought that Joy was a somewhat boring middle name, because it’s a word name (e.g. Grace, Faith, Patience, etc.).

Two nights ago, in Bible study, we talked about joy. We’re studying the book of Philippians, which is all about rejoicing.

I thought about my middle name and realized something.

My middle name is constant. I’m not Amanda [always changing emotion name], I’m Amanda Joy. Joy doesn’t leave, because joy is constant. I can’t get rid of my middle name, it’s just there. No matter how I feel, or what I do, it doesn’t change.

(This is how I think, okay?)

In Bible study, we talked about rejoicing in the Lord.

Because God doesn’t change, our joy needn’t change. Because things like grace and salvation do not change, we can rejoice in them.

Sure, I’m happy if I get a lot of likes and comments on a blog post. I’m happy if I buy something I really like. I’m happy to get my paycheck. I’m happy when people give me books and Amazon gift cards and clothes and free food. These things make me actually, legitimately happy. I won’t minimize that.

But those things aren’t constant things. They don’t last forever.

However, beautiful things like grace, and salvation, and God’s everlasting love are things that we can constantly rejoice in.

I’ve never struggled with depression, but I have been emotionally depressed from time to time. I think that most of us have, really. In those times, I cannot shake the feeling from myself because what happens is I forget my joy.

It’s easy to let myself become happy because of an earthly thing and then later, let myself be disappointed when that thing doesn’t last.

Joy is something that we will find in God alone. We will find joy in our salvation given us by the grace and love of God.

When we succumb to lies that tell us that our ‘joy’ should come from things, we deceive ourselves. This is where our joy should stem from.

Romans 5:8

“But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

I know, I know. We’ve heard that verse a thousand times. BUT LISTEN TO WHAT IT IS SAYING.

When we had no hope, God provided us with hope. This hope is assurance that no matter what we have done or will ever do, God has forgiven us.

Philippians 4:4

“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice.”

God has done what no one else could do, and He forgave us when we were unforgivable.

We are new in Christ, and our sin is not held against us.

Psalm 16:11

“You make known to me the path of life;

in your presence there is fullness of joy;

at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”

Joy isn’t a fleeting emotion. It’s a choice to live in gratitude to the one who saved our souls.

It’s a mindset that will give us constant satisfaction.

*aj