Author: Amanda Joy Beguerie

Lover of words and Child of God.
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Bits of Advice to Turn Over Your Worry Into Trust

Girl on Lake

Lately, I’ve been thinking.

Not about anything in particular, really, but just about the future.

Everything from the coming school year to my life career, from my future marriage to my future kids, and all that. (If I told you that I also think about retirement on occasion, you’d think me mad. But to quote Alice – from Wonderland of course – all the best people are. We’re all mad here.)

What if I “fail” school this year?

What exactly am I going to do when I graduate?

What if I’m still single at 30?

What if I can’t have kids?

What if I lose my friends?

What if…what if…what if…And on and on.

Though I don’t completely consider myself an anxious person, I do sometimes get caught up too much in my thoughts. You must know, that as an introvert, I spend way too much time thinking about things and less time talking them through. This, in turn, leads to stressing over things that are completely implausible and ridiculous, but you couldn’t tell me that then if you tried.

So, as a reference for myself in the days to come and everyone else who has ever struggled with stress or anxiety (let’s face it – we all have), I’ve compiled some hopefully-helpful advice for the life ahead.

  1. No matter how many self-help books we read, or conferences we attend, or sermons we stream online, or any other resource we gather information from, there’s no better truth than the Bible.

No matter how stressed, depressed, anxious, or afraid I feel, I can always – I repeat, ALWAYS – find strength and encouragement in the Bible. Here are some of my top verses that encourage me when I’m going crazy.

Philippians 4:6-7

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

John 14:27

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.

Psalm 55:22

Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved.

Psalm 118:5-6

Out of my distress I called on the Lord; the Lord answered me and set me free. The Lord is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me?

  1. God is always near to us. He has never left, and never will, and will deliver us.

Psalm 34:17-18

When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.

Psalm 143:7-8

Answer me quickly, O Lord! My spirit fails! Hide not your face from me, lest I be like those who go down to the pit. Let me hear in the morning of your steadfast love, for in you I trust. Make me know the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.

Isaiah 41:13

For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, “Fear not, I am the one who helps you.”

It’s crazy to think of how many times we don’t pray and trust God through each aspect of our lives. Even in hardships, a lot of times, I forget that my all-powerful and all-loving Creator is on my side.

For example, I read a random fact that the average person will spend two weeks of their life sitting at a stoplight. Think about that. Can you imagine if we spent that same amount of time in prayer, turning our worries over to God? Can you imagine if we spent that same amount of time every day getting to know God better?

For me, that really puts things in perspective, because I know that I spend more time of my life all stressed out than I spend sitting at a red light. Whoa. I’m going to change that.

  1. We don’t need to trust in ourselves.

Most of my stress comes from my forgetting that I’m not the one in control. So often I think about how “I’m not going to be able to ______” or “I don’t know how ______ is going to come together” or whatever. It’s really crazy to think like this, because this burden is not for me to carry.

Read this and believe it along with me.

I’m not the one in control of my life, but I know the One who is. He loves me, and has a perfect plan all laid out for me.

It’s not all up to me.

I just need to trust, for His ways are best.

1 John 3:20

For whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and he knows everything.

  1. Worry Time doesn’t do any good. Trust Time does.

Matthew 6:27

And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?

Proverbs 12:25

Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad.

All the time we spend in stress could be turned over into time trusting in God. Trust is soooooo much more beneficial than stress…because all of this isn’t in our hands anyway.

For me, I know that having the security of God’s promises is enough.

When we don’t trust, we are essentially saying, “God, I don’t believe that you are strong enough to handle my problems.” Ouch, right? Of course He has everything under control, even as out-of-control as it may seem.

But He’s never going to let us down or disappoint us. I find it to be such a beautiful and awe-inspiring thing that God cares so much about us to hold our lives so carefully. He can do anything, and nothing is too hard for Him!

Jeremiah 32:17

‘Ah, Lord God! It is you who have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and by your outstretched arm! Nothing is too hard for you.

So let’s all do something together. Let’s trust in the One who has it all under control. As hard as that is, I’m surrendering my stress, worries, and anxiety to my Maker, who holds me so tightly in the palm of His hand. ❤

*aj

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I’m A Christian, And Also An Introvert

Woman, Mountain

As you all probably know…I’m an introvert.

INFJ, to be exact, which just so happens to be the rarest personality type in the world.

As an introvert, I enjoy solitude, find my best friendships one-on-one (as opposed to in a group setting), and I feel most comfortable at home. Preferably with a book, cup of tea or coffee, and gentle music in my earbuds.

All bookishness aside (though I would gladly talk about my love for books for hours), it’s part of my personality that I’m not very much of a social butterfly. I love people…one-on-one.

I find that a lot of times I lose myself in a group and find myself off to the side. I’d much rather converse with one friend than contribute to a group conversation in which we talk about pointless things.

That’s just who I am, and I’m still trying to accept the fact that 90% of my friends are extroverts and introverts understand me so much more. But it’s okay.

See, as humans, we all are different. Very different in fact. There’s not a right or a wrong personality, just like it’s not right to be a bus driver and wrong to be a waiter. Everyone has different gifts, and they’re all really important, especially as Christians.

God made us all with a purpose and a plan!

Psalm 139:14

I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.

For me, that’s a relief, because a lot of times, I feel like there must be something wrong with me. Social situations can be quite awkward, even if I know exactly what’s going on. Why don’t I just connect with friendly people my age?

Although I can’t really answer that, because I don’t really know, I do know that I have a purpose.

1 Corinthians 12:14-18

For the body does not consist of one member but of many. If the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body. And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would be the sense of hearing? If the whole body were an ear, where would be the sense of smell? But as it is, God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as he chose.

I’ve come to understand that there’s nothing really wrong with me. I’m a rare introvert, and while I wish I had closer friendships, God has made me to be me. And I have a purpose in an extroverted world…even when it seems as though I’m a circular puzzle piece in a square-jigsaw-puzzle of a world.

As a Christian, I’m realizing that while having a unique personality is all well and good, it’s really important what we do with it.

Do I keep quiet about my faith in compromising situations because I’m “not comfortable” with speaking up and obeying my convictions?

Do I ignore the New Kid because I feel like introducing myself will be awkward?

Do I refuse to serve at church in a position that’s out of my comfort zone?

Do I ignore the Holy Spirit’s prompting to share the Gospel because “it doesn’t feel right”?

This is where, as a member of the Body of Christ, I can get in trouble.

Because God doesn’t call us specifically to comfort.

Oh yes, He uses us right where we are. In fact, I don’t know if I’d be blogging if I spoke all these words instead of writing them.

But if God calls us to do something, we are wrong to refuse it because it’s “not our thing”.

We are all different, but we are all called to be salt and light in a dark world, and to share the Gospel.

It’s never easy, and it’s something that I think we all need to work on.

So, I’m going to take advantage of who God has made me to be. Places like this blog give me the opportunity to share my faith. Having close friendships help me to have meaningful discussions about important matters. Solitude helps me to get to know who God is more and more. When it’s quiet, and I feel alone, I remember that God is always with me and He will never leave.

But also, I’m going to take advantage of the opportunities that God puts in my path to serve Him, and I’m not going to rely on comfort to make decisions for me.

I have decided that I will live my life for my Lord, who has loved me first and saved my soul. It doesn’t matter if befriending someone is awkward; if God is nudging me to do something, I will do it. For living for Him is all that matters. Here and Now will fade away, but God stands for all eternity.

My personality doesn’t get me off the hook for serving God. I have a part to play in this world. I have so many opportunities, both within my comfort zone and outside of it, and I’m not going to give them up.

2 Timothy 1:8-9

Therefore do not be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord, nor of me his prisoner, but share in suffering for the gospel by the power of God, who saved us and called us to a holy calling, not because of our works but because of his own purpose and grace, which he gave us in Christ Jesus before the ages began[.]

We have a holy calling. Isn’t that amazing? Let’s follow after God in what He is calling us to do, both in what comes easy, and what we have to rely on God’s strength for.

It’s not about us, it’s about Him.

Yes, I’m still an introvert. But yes, I am still a Christian. I have a different personality than most people, and I have a place in the Body of Christ. But I’m not limited…for God has plans for me, bigger than I could dream of. And I desire to be used by God.

*aj

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It’s A [Crazy] Wonderful Life

Plans.

Sometimes, I have a bunch of crazy dreams and aspirations.

Let me rephrase that.

Always, every day, I have new and insane plans and aspirations.

I’m a dreamer. I want to see things happen. I’m a little crazy. Or a lotta crazy.

I want to do so much.

When I was young, people would ask me, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” And I would always answer with a shy shrug, and reply with, “I don’t know. I want to be a mommy and I can’t figure out anything else.”

Now, I’m almost exactly the opposite.

“So, what are you planning on doing with your life?”

“That’s a great question. I’d like to get a degree in English, so that I can write, proofread, and edit, but perhaps I’d like to get a job at a publishing company, or start my own.

“Music has always been a part of me, so there’s always that. And acting and filmmaking has always captured my interest. I’d love to make a movie, and be in one. Or two. Or three. Or more.

“I’d also like to be a wife and momma, adopt some kids if God allows, and homeschool ‘em all.

“I really wanted to go to the Olympics for gymnastics when I was ten, but I didn’t go far enough with it.

“Or perhaps I’d like to be involved in vocational ministry. A youth speaker. And maybe I want to just be an author, write a dozen books, and go that route.

“I’d like to travel the world, learn another language (or get better at Spanish) and go on some short-term missions trips to South America.”

This is making me really upset right now. Right this moment, yes, though I’m talking about in general.

And rightfully so, I think.

Because I don’t have my life figured out. If it were up to me, I’d be married by twenty-two, with a novel-worthy love story, living in a little apartment, with everything painted white. I’d have a job during the day that I was in love with, and I would write books and blog posts in the evenings and early mornings.

Then, at twenty-five, I’d have a few kids. I’d stay home and homeschool them, and work part-time if I could.

But I’m crazy.

For all I know, I could be single until I’m thirty. I could have a job that I don’t like, and have never written any books. I could still have my teeny and messy beach-themed bedroom at my parents’ house until I marry.

I could still have this little corner of the internet called a blog and ramble about my life on Tuesdays and Saturdays.

I really don’t know, and that upsets me sometimes.

I don’t have all the answers.

Life is crazy and overwhelming.

I have so much more life to live, and I want to do it all right now.

And I can’t. I’m fifteen. I can’t drive, or marry right now, or get a full-time job, or raise children, or live on my own, or anything like that.

*sighs*

It’s a waiting game.

So I’m trying my best to learn a little lesson here.

God’s ways are not my ways, and His thoughts aren’t my thoughts.

His plans are the best ones for me. Not mine. His.

I don’t know what life will bring, but I do know this. God is in control. He has my life laid out, and knows exactly what will happen.

He knows who I’m going to marry. What I’m going to “be when I grow up”.

He knows my thoughts. He knows me, because He is my Creator.

He loves my soul, and has only the best in mind for me.

He wants me to rely on Him because He knows I can’t do life on my own.

And like I was saying a minute ago, I get really upset by this sometimes. I feel like crying…a lot. But actually, I think that’s a good thing.

It’s so important to see that we can’t accomplish life’s craziness on our own. It’s okay to cry…because life is insane, and stressful, and overwhelming, and difficult. And I’m mortal, and naïve, and stupid sometimes, and inexperienced, and impatient, and messy.

But the God who is immortal, and all-knowing, and possesses all wisdom, and is patient and created life itself knows me.

He knows me.

And He loves me.

Through my weakness, and flaws, and broken humanity, I am treasured, and held in the palm of the hand of the One who is control of it all.

 

I am His child.

I have crazy plans, and a crazy life, and I get overwhelmed easily. I don’t know what I’m going to do with my life, or how I’m going to handle hardships.

But I’m not in control, and I can’t pretend that I am.

My life belongs to God. I’m never going to be qualified to handle life on my own.

But I’m a daughter of the One who hold my life.

Here and now, I submit my life to the one that treasures it. I relinquish my plans to the Lover of my soul. I surrender my dreams to the One that gave them to me in the first place. I give up my control to the Author of space and time; the One who holds it all.

I rest in the embrace of the One who pens my story.

He has figured out my life for me…and I will never EVER be alone.

Proverbs 16:9

The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Proverbs 16:3

Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established.

Isaiah 55:9

For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.

Proverbs 19:21

Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.

Romans 8:28

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

Joshua 1:9

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.

Job 12:10

In his hand is the life of every living thing and the breath of all mankind.

*aj

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Living To Be Freshly Pressed (Or Not)

Writing

Blogging (and all writing, for that matter) is absolutely amazing.

I love it so much.

I can press my fingertips to the keys on my keyboard, and almost magically, words come out.

It’s my joy to sit up until midnight (or 1am or 2am) and just express myself with written words that I could never formulate in speech.

I love to write about what God is doing in my life. What I’m learning. Who I am. And who I want to be. It’s a passion and a privilege of mine to be able to use my little fingertips for the glory of God.

No matter what others tell me, I’m going to keep on journaling and typing, because that is what I love to do, and it is one of my ways that I worship God.

However, there is a very interesting feature on WordPress called “Freshly Pressed”. Basically, WordPress employees find ten well-written and interestingly-expressed blog posts (that have a unique point of view and are attractive) every day from around the WordPress blogosphere and promote them on the WordPress Freshly Pressed page. To many bloggers, this is an AMAZING goal.

I mean, who wouldn’t want five million views on their blog and potentially millions of followers because one post went viral?

Tell me, who doesn’t want to be popular?

This presents a slight problem. See, I can almost assure you that people have blogs dedicated to “trying to make their posts go viral”. If you know anything about modern media, well, you’ll know that it doesn’t happen that way. You can’t produce viral content purposefully, but I suppose that people don’t really understand that.

At the same time, I think we forget this point that should be so obvious to us in life.

So many people live their lives for show. They live to be cool and popular. (Sounds to me like another way of saying ‘viral’ and ‘Freshly Pressed’.) But really, does that make a lot of sense?

Let me put it back in blogging and writing terms.

Every Monday and Friday night, I stay up late doing what I love. I eat chocolate (shh, don’t tell Mom and Dad…just kidding) and listen to instrumental music (good for the brain) and wear away my laptop keys in the beautiful silence.

And not only do I love doing it, but I write for one main reason: I do it because I love the One who saved my soul, and my life is dedicated to Him.

I don’t write to make my post popular, though high stats days are definitely nice. But see, if I were to write for being Freshly Pressed only, well, I think that would alter my content.

Hypothetically, I wouldn’t express my faith so openly.

I’d probably side with the secular world when it came to issues like marriage and politics, relationships and worldviews.

I would probably use explicit language to “blend in” with everyone else.

And honestly, to me, that sounds miserable.

I will either write to please God, or I will write to please the world.

Do I really want to write words that pacify a bunch of little mortals, or do I want to please the Almighty God of the Universe and hear Him say “Well Done”?

I’m going with the latter.

And I believe life is the same way.

As a Christian, do I want to hide my faith, act like everyone else, hold the views of the secular world (that the Bible is clearly against) use inappropriate language, and ditch the Bible for temporary popularity?

UM, NO WAY. Never in a million years.

I have made my choice that I do not need the approval of the world to live my life. I already have the approval of the Creator of EVERYTHING EVER, so what more do I need?

Am I going to live to be Freshly Pressed, or live to please my Lord and my God?

Am I going to change my lifestyle to be popular according to the world’s standards, or live to serve my Maker and Sustainer?

I choose to live in freedom. I am free from the mold that the world has set upon me to be popular and cool, and I am going to live for God.

And if no one else does? Well, I still will.

*aj

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So, You Thought It Would Be Easy?

Woman on Lake

Being a Christian is hard.

Yep, you heard that right.

Maybe when you became a Christian, you expected life to get easy. And that is a really popular misconception.

See, when I was a wee little girl (I’ve always wanted to say that), being a Christian meant one thing to me: having Jesus in my heart.

Which, by the way, is the best thing that could ever happen to a person. So that little girl with the teeny little finite mind signed up for a whole new life.

A changed life. A forgiven life. A redeemed life.

And so I did. I asked Jesus to come into my heart, and it is by far the best thing I ever did.

But normally, three-year-old girls don’t get persecuted for their faith. School doesn’t come into the picture until later. Blue’s Clues is the most un-Christian show that they will watch. So in essence, the only thing that really matters when you’re a baby Christian (who is still practically a baby) is how many pictures are in the Bible storybook.

And for years, I had no idea what difficulty really was. Sure, health issues have been predominant in my family at times, but being so young, I had no idea how serious issues really were until they were over, or even years later.

But then I got older.

And I realized that life was, after all, really hard. And being a Christian on top of that made it even harder.

See, when you’re surrounded by people multiple times a week that think that the Christian music that you grew up listening to and singing is “silly religious music”, or someone comments how “innocent” you are, or condescendingly notes that you are different…it can get discouraging.

Like when you’re pressured to do things that you never would’ve dreamed of doing, and you’re ridiculed for saying no. Or when you decide not to be a rebellious teenager, and the world looks at you like you have seventeen heads. Or when you’re labeled weird or awkward because you actually enjoy Church and believe in the Bible. Or when you value modesty and purity.

And you are laughed at, because “nobody actually lives like that.” It hurts, and it cuts deep, because this is your new life…changed life…different life…life that you’ve dedicated to the Author of Your Soul…and it is really hard to hold on to what you believe.

This shouldn’t be this hard! Am I doing something wrong? Am I just not spiritual enough to block out the world?

Being a Christian should be easy…right?

Um. No.

Jesus Himself said this:

John 16:33

“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

So, in this world, we will have tribulation. But in Him, we can have peace.

2 Timothy 2:3-4

“Share in suffering as a good soldier of Christ Jesus. No soldier gets entangled in civilian pursuits, since his aim is to please the one who enlisted him.”

I like this a lot, because we are soldiers of Christ Jesus. Imagine you’re halfway across the world, fighting for your country. And then imagine that some random people that live in the country that you’re fighting against ridicule you. At that point, you’d probably say, “I don’t care what you think. I am fighting to serve my country, and please the one that enlisted me, not to make you happy, a mere mortal in opposition to my mission.” Right? Does it really matter what others think of us when we are ultimately serving God?

(The answer is no.)

Romans 8:18

“For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.”

We for sure will suffer. That is a non-negotiable fact. But it wont last forever, for we have the amazing hope of heaven.

1 Peter 4:16

“Yet if anyone suffers as a Christian, let him not be ashamed, but let him glorify God in that name.”

Let us glorify God when we do suffer. We are suffering in the name of Jesus – not in the name of some wacko hillbilly hippie, or some smooth-talking world peace activist, or even a good moral teacher. No, we suffer in the name of JESUS, the Savior of the world, and the Son of God. Now that I think about it…it’s more of an honor than a burden.

And do you want to know something really cool?

Promises are extremely abundant in the Bible. And they’re 100% true. Like this one.

Isaiah 43:2

“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.”

And this one.

Jeremiah 29:11-13

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.”

And this one too.

Psalm 22:24

“For he has not despised or abhorred the affliction of the afflicted, and he has not hidden his face from him, but has heard, when he cried to him.”

What’s the main point of these amazing promises?

We are going to suffer. It’s going to hurt. And we will be afflicted, and at times it will feel like we are alone.

But we are not alone.

God is with us through it all. He has a plan for our lives, and He always hears us when me cry and call out to Him.

So, does that mean that being a Christian will be easy?

Nah. It’ll be really hard, because the world doesn’t like Truth and Light that radiates from us Christians.

But we do not run alone. For the One who created everything cares about us, and we will never be left on our own.

*aj

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Book Thursdays: Half-Blood by Jaye L. Knight Review + Author Interview!

HFBlogTourBanner

Yay!!!! The day I have been waiting for has finally arrived!!!!

*throws confetti in air*

Half-Blood by Jaye L. Knight has been officially released to the big, wide, and wonderful world! I’m so excited for this release, because all of us Ilyon fans have been pleading for Jace’s backstory. (Think of it like a never-before-read prologue. A prologue that you REALLY appreciate once you’ve read such an amazing story.)

In this post, I’m reviewing Half-Blood and interviewing Jaye herself. But first, about the book!

Learn more about this prequel story to Ilyon Chronicles and make sure you also enter the tour giveaway at the bottom!

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About the Book
The gasps and murmuring grew. Though some were hardly more than whispers, clear words reached Jace’s ears—dangerous, monster, animal, soulless. He tried to back away from their accusing eyes, but the collar pulled hard against his throat and held him in place.

For all his years as a slave, Jace has known nothing but the hatred people hold for his mixed blood—one half human, the other half the blood of a race considered monsters. Always, he is the outsider and quickly learns it is better to keep to himself. But, when his volatile ryrik blood leads him to do the unthinkable, he is thrown into a world of violence and bloodshed.

Forced to become a gladiator, Jace finds more and more of his heart dying as his master works to break down his will not to become the monster everyone believes he is. When a stranger interferes with his master’s harsh punishment, Jace’s world is upended yet again. But with it comes the possibility of hope that has long since died. Could the man possibly hold the key to escaping the hopeless darkness that is Jace’s life? Is there such a thing as life beyond the cruelty of slavery?

See where Jace’s story all began . . .

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Haven’t discovered the world of Ilyon yet? Find out more at the official Ilyon Chronicles website

IlyonChronicles

My Review:

All his life, Jace has been a slave. He has been forced to become a gladiator, and treated so harshly, lower than an animal. Little does anyone know, Jace – as half ryrik and half human – has a heart, a soul, and he is not truly defined by his ryrik blood. He is not an angry killer; he is only thought to be one. And he is treated for the first 17-20 (or so) years of his life as though he is less than worthless.

Oh my. I can’t really in good conscience say that I loved or enjoyed this book. I can say, however, that I’m glad that I read it. I’m glad that I know Jace’s backstory, even though it tore my soul to shreds.

Jace’s life broke me. For real. He had but two things that made him happy, and both those things were torn away from him. (Such injustice! Are you kidding me?!)

It shredded my heart into a million tiny fractals.

It tore my soul to unrepairable shreds.

It emptied my being of hope.

It made my heart scream, and cry, and panic out of desperation.

I was Jace.

I was treated lower than an animal.

I was abused for the love of money.

I was alone. Forsaken. Rejected. Forgotten. Betrayed. Sold. Broken. Hopeless.

And I never believed I could ever be loved, or even treated like I was even half-human. I never believed I could ever have a soul.

*cries* Oh yes, I cried. Out of anger, pain, and more injustice.

(And, um, yeah, I finished it in one day. The day it was sent to me.)

Throughout this book, we dig deep into Jace’s past. We see his loneliness, heartbreak, struggle, and his (yes) humanity. We see that he is not heartless, and isn’t completely overcome by his ryrik blood. Though he has many challenges, he does not give up.

The thing I admire most about Jace is that he refuses to kill in cold blood. He struggles with fiery anger, coming from his ryrik blood, but he doesn’t let it overcome him easily. He fights for justice, and I love that. He pays attention to his conscience even when he does not know Elôm. (More proof that you have a soul, Jace.) He’s such a respectable character, and my favorite (of course!). *happy sigh*

Seriously though, Half-Blood is really hard to read. I cried a few times over the intense cruelty of Jace’s treatment. It’s not a fluffy, snuggle-up-by-the-fire kind of book. It’s one of those books that makes you want to throw it out the window, but it’s still so good that you can’t bring yourself to do it. (Jaye’s writing is amazing. That’s not the problem at all. The problem is that she writes so well that you’re there, and you feel every little ounce of pain and agony. And so I felt it, and was actually depressed for a few days.)

My favorite part of the book was the second half, of course. It was so amazingly full of hope. The horrible hopelessness of Jace’s life of slavery made hope – when it came – so much brighter, in contrast. It was so beautiful. I won’t give too much away, but the end of the book overlaps with the beginning of Resistance, from Jace’s point of view. It’s like reading an awesome book for the first time – twice. Because even though I knew what would happen, it was totally new, with the same dialogue and scenery. That was amazing.

So yeah, I’m glad I read it. Was it hard to read? Oh, you’d better believe it. But seeing Jace’s past helped to give me a glimpse of who Jace is and who he is becoming.

Though this is a prequel novella, I don’t think I would recommend it as a starting point for the series. Although it is written extremely well, it’s tough to read and perhaps not as enjoyable until you’ve read Resistance. It is heartbreaking, and not as “lovely” as the other books, but it is definitely a worthwhile read when wanting to know even more about Jace’s past.

It’s a Five-Star book.

I received an eARC for my honest and unbiased review. Thank you, Jaye! 
About the Author
JayeAuthor2015Jaye L. Knight is an award-winning author, homeschool graduate, and shameless tea addict with a passion for Christian fantasy. Armed with an active imagination and love for adventure, Jaye weaves stories of truth, faith, and courage with the message that even in the deepest darkness, God’s love shines as a light to offer hope. She has been penning stories since the age of eight and resides in the Northwoods of Wisconsin.

You can connect with Jaye on her website, blog, Facebook, Google+, Twitter, Etsy, and on her new fiction forum where you can interact with other readers of the series.

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As I promised, I got to interview the author, Jaye L. Knight, and share her answers with all of you.

 

 Jaye, did you find Half-Blood to be hard to write? I know that for me, it was difficult to read at a lot of points. The entire first half, actually. 

Surprisingly, this story was one of the easiest I’ve written, not because of subject matter, but it just flowed really well. I’m glad of that. I wouldn’t have wanted to labor over it for a long period of time. I was able to write the whole thing in just a couple of weeks.

Ah, I see. Only a couple of weeks, wow! That’s great. 🙂

Do you enjoy writing about just Jace, or would you rather work with multiple storylines (as you do in the rest of the Ilyon books)?

I love writing about Jace. While I do enjoy working with multiple storylines, Jace is my favorite to work with. Though, there are a few others I particularly love writing as well, like Trask and Prince Daniel.

And I love reading about Jace. He’s such a relatable character, especially to me. Trask and Prince Daniel are such fun to read about too, with their great witty and strong personalities.

 

Where did your ideas for Jace’s story come from, especially the details of his life as a gladiator and slave?

Originally, Jace was inspired by a half-blooded character in Donita K. Paul’s DragonKeeper Chronicles books. I didn’t discover that Jace was a gladiator, though, until I was quite far into writing Resistance. I always knew he was a slave and struggled with his ryrik blood, but the gladiator idea came from a History Channel documentary on gladiators that I randomly watched with my brother. I found it so fascinating that my imagination took over, and next thing I knew, Jace’s entire backstory changed.

That is so interesting! Thank you for sharing with us, Jaye.
Giveaway
Share in the excitement of the release and enter to win a themed giveaway pack! Prizes include an autographed copy of Half-Blood, a blue feather bookmark hand crafted by Jaye, a bronze sword pendant, and a $5 Amazon gift card! (Giveaway is open to US residents only. Cannot be shipped internationally.)

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Tour Schedule
Tuesday, July 14

Wednesday, July 15

Thursday, July 16

Friday, July 17

Saturday, July 18

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Tuesday, July 21

Wednesday, July 22

*aj

Posted on

Rebel is Not a Synonym For Teenager.

Spring Flowers

Rebel is not a synonym for teenager.

I’m fifTEEN years old. A teenager. But I’m no rebel.

(Okay, so maybe I do occasionally enter through the EXIT at Walmart. But that is beside the point.)

Just because I’m between the ages of thirteen and nineteen, doesn’t mean I disagree with my parents every chance I get, try hard to do the opposite of whatever wise people tell me to, or compromise the beliefs that I grew up holding fast to.

Society would tell people like me me, “You, girl, are insane. Live a little. You are young and free. Party all you want. For this fleeting moment, life is all about fun, of course. Don’t heed advice, all those old folks have no idea what they’re talking about. Experience life for yourself. Make your own choices. Be free to ‘be yourself.’ And you’ll be happy.”

Um, no, actually. I’ll keep my head square on my shoulders, thank you very much.

Not only is this view unwise, but it leads to trouble. And frankly, I have no desire to live wastefully.

But you, reader, may be thinking, “Why is she so different?” Well, I’m glad you ask.

My Faith Is My Own.

I made a decision at a young age to become a Christian. As Jonathan Edwards once said, “Resolved I will live for God. And if no one else does, I still will.” I don’t live for God because my parents force me to, or because an author wrote it in a book that I should. This is my own choice, and no matter how hard I am pulled, I will not be torn away from my foundation that I have built my life upon. The Lord has revealed Himself to me, and I can not deny it. I will not compromise because I am pressured to. I will hold firm because I know the Truth, and it has set me free.

By Obeying Authority, I Am Obeying God.

It’s already been established that my faith is my own. I’m not a brainwashed religious freak. I have fallen in love with my Savior. The authority that humans rebel against is much bigger than parents, or the police, or even the President. If I am to disobey anyone in authority (unless it goes against the Bible), I am disobeying God.

Ouch.

Ephesians 6:1

“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.”

If God says to do something, and I do not do it, then not only am I showing disrespect to those whom I am not heeding, but I’m deliberately rebelling against the Creator of the universe, who also happens to be my Heavenly Father.

Double ouch.

Romans 12:2

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”

When I do not conform to the patterns to just about every other teen on the planet, I am being obedient to God. And by doing this, I can discern His will. Is that not awesome?

The Teen Years Are Preparation For The Rest Of My Life.

Right now, I am getting ready to live the rest of my life. If I want to live wisely in ten years, how will that happen if I do not live wisely right here and now?

I’m not going to waste these precious seven years so that I can have temporary (and harmful) fun now. What’s the point?

And seriously. How many adults actually look back on their high school and college years and say, “I am so glad that I partied, did just what I wanted to, and ignored my parents because I knew better than them. It really helped me in the life that was ahead of me.”

Seriously? We are smarter than this.

I’m Not A Child Anymore, Even Though I’m Still Not An Adult.

It doesn’t make any logical sense to behave recklessly like a child and yet demand to be treated like an adult. By doing this, we prove to the world that we are immature and not ready for actual responsibility.

When I was five years old, my parents sat down with me and we had a talk. The main point was, “With age comes responsibility.” (This meant that I had to start emptying the dishwasher every day before I could watch Caillou.) If, for instance, I were to refuse to accept my responsibility, I would not prove to be mature enough for more privileges. The older I became, the more responsibility I was given, and in turn, the more freedom I was given.

Come on, guys. We can act like adults (in the way that we accept responsibility) and so prove that we are ready to be adults. If we act like foolish children, we won’t be ready for everything that life throws our way. So let’s “man up” (or “woman up,” if you prefer) and be wise. I’m not an adult yet, but that doesn’t mean I can start preparing to be one.

Yes, I am a teenager. But I’m not a rebel.

I never had the place to be rebellious anyway. So Why should I? Where is the real and true benefit?

God gave us authorities for the reason of keeping order in this world, for He knew that we all have a sin nature that wants to run rampant inside of us. But as a Christian teenager, I give no authority to my sin.

Galatians 2:20

“I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”

I do not live for my rebellious self anymore, but for my Savior.

And I do not let “rebel” be a synonym for “teenager”.

Note to Parents:

I’m not a parent, so I cannot guarantee to you that your kid is going to obey you or listen to you. But as for me, I have made my faith my own. I desire to heed authority, for I know it is good. Not because Mom and Dad forced me to follow a set list of dos and don’ts, but because my relationship with my Savior is the most important thing in the world to me. It’s my own choice. And it is the best choice I’ve ever made.

*aj

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A Letter to the Younger Me

Notebook Letter Writing

Lately, I’ve been all over open letters online. I’ve been loving the Dear Future Husband letter thing, letters to Your Future Self, etc. But I decided to take a slightly different path and write a letter to the Younger Me. Basically, I wish I had known these things when I was ten, eleven, twelve, and on. I’ve learned so many little tings in the past few years – and I think it’s important that I share them. So here we are now. A Letter to the Younger Me.

Dear Younger Amanda,

There are some things I wish I could have told you when you were younger, in the midst of life, trying to figure everything out.

Perhaps you would have turned out to be a different person than you are today. But no matter. You’ve lived a short fifteen years at this point in time, and you’ve already learned a lot.

First of all, I want you to know that life is going to be hard. Things are going to happen that will test you. Your heart will get broken no matter where you are in life – by people and all kinds of crazy circumstances. It’s not going to be easy by any stretch, but God will be with you through it all. Trust me on this. You will never ever be alone.

Besides not being alone, you should know something else. Sometimes, life will be really dark. You might feel hopeless, or lost, or drowning. But darling, always remember that the sun will rise, however long the night. You’ll get through whatever happens, because you will not be alone. There is hope, and you must not ever give up.

Dear Younger Amanda, having a lot of friends doesn’t mean much. Being popular doesn’t matter. It’s really okay if you’re not “in” with the “cool kids”. It’s much more important to focus on being a good friend to others and getting to know a few people well. It’s the quality of friends that matter; not the quantity. And you can work on being a quality friend.

Dear Darling, I want you to know that drama really doesn’t matter. It won’t matter who-likes-who in a few years. Don’t even get your heart all tangled up with crushes and drama and silly young-teenage girl things that don’t matter. Your heart is WAY too precious to throw around like a bowling ball. It’s worth it to focus on more important things than relationships at such a young age; don’t worry about marriage. You’ve got plenty of time.

Younger Me, figure out things you love and work on cultivating those things. Don’t be afraid to try new things, make mistakes, and brush yourself off from those embarrassing little mishaps. And keep on trying. God has given you passions for a reason. Don’t give up on things you don’t think you have talent in. (And here’s a hint: in the future, you are going to love to read novels and write like crazy. Don’t give up just because you think you’re not good at it!)

Dear Girl, find people to look up to and get to know them. Amazing people will come into your life, and you’ll feel like the luckiest girl alive. You probably will be. Listen to people older and wiser than you, and learn from them. You are going to be blessed greatly and learn a lot. Don’t forget to thank those people.

Dear Amanda, hard things are going to happen, but look at the big picture. Don’t fret so much. Everything happens for a reason, and you don’t need to worry so much. You’re young and free now; enjoy it.

Even when you feel like you know better, trust your parents. Remember that they were once your age, and they really do know better than you. Amanda, make sure to cultivate a relationship with them. Trust them. Listen. Take advice. And know that they understand the Bible really well, and you can always talk to them.

Dear Younger Me, the most important thing I will tell you is this: READ YOUR BIBLE. You will be thirteen when you really start reading your Bible regularly, and your life will change after that. It’s going to be an amazing ride, so hold on tight, and follow God wherever He leads. It’s crazy, awesome, and totally worth it. And by strengthening your relationship with God by reading your Bible every day (or as best you can) and praying, you will grow so much.

Love,

Your Slightly Older Self

*aj