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On Coming out of Depression & Experiencing the Faithfulness of God

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i.

 

Oh wow He’s faithful.

 

There’s something so ethereal about knowing when God is speaking.

 

Oftentimes, before I leave my house to go be with other Christians, I pray a few things. One, that I’d have some sort of meaningful conversation, two, that God would speak, and if I remember, then three, that I’d be filled with the Spirit and used by Him.

 

And the funny thing is, once I arrive, when I kick off my shoes and put down my phone and start hugging people, I completely forget that I ever even prayed it. And every single time that I come home so filled, I’m overcome with awe at how He worked.

 

I’m stunned by the conversations that left me glowing with joy, how I heard God in worship songs and in listening to my friends preach, tangibly experiencing God’s love and presence in everyday interactions.

 

I heard His voice again this weekend, and it left me breathless.

 

For three days, I’d been praying hard that God would lead me to trust Him. And He has. Oh, how He has.

Continue reading “On Coming out of Depression & Experiencing the Faithfulness of God”

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What No One is Saying About the Joy of Loving Jesus

What No One is Saying About the Joy of Loving Jesus

Pursue Jesus and love Him first. That’s been on my mind the past few weeks, as I run the concept over and over in my head, trying to more fully grasp what it means, what it looks like, why it’s important.

 

And finally, after struggling for so long to piece together my view of the world with my view of God, I came to a realization that left me breathless, head spinning, but for the first time in my life finally understanding.

 

Why can’t we can’t afford to put anyone other than Jesus as the first in our minds, as the reason we do everything we do? Because only He satisfies.

 

Only He can satisfy the longing for peace in my heart, only He can fulfill my ache for something more in this life. Only He can give me the joy, the hope, and love that my soul craves so desperately.

Continue reading “What No One is Saying About the Joy of Loving Jesus”

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What Millennials Need in the Church More Than Anything (& why we need to stop conning them into attendance)

What Millennials Need in the Church More Than Anything (& why we need to stop conning them into attendance)

Before we start, I’m going to be straight with you — I’m a millennial.

 

Yes, I’m in college, and not a day goes by that I don’t drink at least two lattes, turn on Spotify, or check my iPhone a handful of times an hour.

 

Yes, I do spend most of my days working and studying and on social media on my computer, and I won’t deny it. I live in the generation of technology, specialty coffee, and cultural progression, and here I am, getting swept up in it all.

 

I don’t think that’s a bad thing. This is the world I’m living in and I can’t do anything about that — and yet there’s something weighing on me, something that’s been bothering me about the American Church for quite some time now.

 

As the church, we don’t quite know what to do with millennials, and so we shuffle around, trying to cater to what seems to be what they want, yet we overlook the spiritual needs of all involved.

 

I’m talking about The American Trendy Church.

Continue reading “What Millennials Need in the Church More Than Anything (& why we need to stop conning them into attendance)”

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When God Doesn’t Fix It: learning to hold onto faith in the midst of the mess

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Sometimes I forget there’s such a thing as a messy faith to go along with my messy life.

 

And in this moment, I’ll be totally honest – I’m not really sure how to best express what I’ve been feeling, lately. My thoughts are jumbled, my words ineloquent, and the feeling of being stuck permeates my every thought.

 

It’s quarter till eleven on Monday night where I am, and everything in me feels weary, uncomfortable, aimless. To try and pretend I have it all together, or that my messiness is endearing simply wouldn’t be right – I’m drained, deep thinking has left me unsettled, and all I want is for everything just to feel right again.

 

As I sit here, I begin to think hard and deep once again –

 

What do we do when reality hits and our lives don’t turn out the way we wanted them to?

 

What do we do when studying the Bible seems to leave us wrestling with questions more than finding answers?

 

What do we do when we find ourselves heartbroken, or filled with guilt and shame, just barely grasping what exactly grace is? Continue reading “When God Doesn’t Fix It: learning to hold onto faith in the midst of the mess”

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On Why I Worship, Who I Live For, and the Savior Who Rescued My Soul

On Why I Worship, Who I Live For, and the Savior Who Rescued My Soul.png 

In the midst of your pain, in the midst of your darkness, in the midst of the terrifying paths in front of us that we call the future – you’re so radically and beautifully loved. May we never lose sight of that.

 

i.

 

I sit peacefully on the porch, one leg curled under me, guitar resting on the other. I feel the cool breeze of the evening in my hair, the summer mosquitoes swarming around my feet, and I unwind as my fingers dance up and down the familiar strings.

 

And in the stillness, the quiet, the only solitude I’ve had all day, one thing comes to my mind – Worship Him. The Savior. Continue reading “On Why I Worship, Who I Live For, and the Savior Who Rescued My Soul”

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What We’re Getting Wrong About Holiness

What We're Getting Wrong About Holiness.png

Holiness is not and can never be ankle-length skirts, purity rings, or immersion in Christian media to try to fight against the world. Holiness is so much more than that, and we’ve taught ourselves to settle for the symbols instead of the real thing.

 

I think it’s time we change that.

Continue reading “What We’re Getting Wrong About Holiness”

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Jesus at the Center of Everything // on how the pursuit of Jesus is so much more fulfilling than we could ever imagine

Jesus at the Center of Everything on how the pursuit of Jesus is so much more fulfilling than we could ever imagine

It’s funny how God speaks, sometimes.

 

I think I often expect it to be audacious and resonant, in the moment. A distinct voice from Heaven as I’m reading my Bible or writing in my prayer journal. But lately, I’ve realized that when we’re looking for Him to speak, and seeking Him in every area of our lives, we can’t help but hear His voice in the littlest things.

 

Because I’ve come to this realization, though it’s taken me a while –

 

God is meant to be at the very center of our lives, the One that guides everything we do – not just the Being we worship in some set-aside times of the week or the day – but the reason we do everything we do.

Continue reading “Jesus at the Center of Everything // on how the pursuit of Jesus is so much more fulfilling than we could ever imagine”

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Enough: my battle with the hustle, the stress, and the busy, and how I found rest

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It’s Saturday morning.

 

Rainy and chilly, I tiptoe across the living room carpet, coffee in hand, hair thrown haphazardly into a messy bun. I breathe.

 

After a week of running fast and hard, it’s finally quiet. No more hustle. Just me. It’s a refreshing change of pace, but I find my mind spinning with thoughts to make up for the lack of stimulation in tasks, math problems, and meals to cook.

 

I think about how much I absolutely adore New York City. I love the noise, the lights, the crowds, the pace. I’m enamored with the culture, the resilience, the opportunities.

 

But maybe, sometimes, I identify with it a little too much? I fill my life with faster, louder, more, more, more. I say YES and tack more onto my to-do list, put more friends and meetings on my calendar, apply to serve in my church more and more and more and more – and then I collapse. Hard.

 

Because I tell myself I can’t rest, I shouldn’t take the time to be refreshed. And it’s not as though I don’t rest – just that often, those times are laden with feelings of guilt.

 

Because don’t I need to do more? Be more? Write more? Work more? Study more? Sing more? Don’t I need to prove that I can be independent, capable, and strong? That I can meet people’s expectations?

 

Don’t I need to prove that I’m enough? Continue reading “Enough: my battle with the hustle, the stress, and the busy, and how I found rest”