The Blog of Amanda Joy Beguerie
As I learn to live, as I grow, as I experience life – I’m realizing that sometimes, life isn’t what it seems.
It’s hard, sure. It’s messy. Problems arise, we hurt and things break us, and it’s not easy to deal with all of it, oftentimes.
But truly…life can be simple.
I often overthink. Overplan. Overworry. Overdo everything, because I feel like I might mess things up if I don’t.
You know?
Continue reading “Living Every Little Moment: Experiencing A Full Life Right Here and Now”
Hey, can I let you in on a little secret?
Yes, you. Right here, right now.
I have a pretty good memory, for the most part. I can recall so many details from conversations and places and events that happened ten years ago. I can remember sights, smells, tastes, emotions, all so vividly.
But there is one thing that I can so easily forget…and that’s goodness.
Not goodness in the world, I don’t mean that. Look up random acts of kindness on Tumblr and they’re right there. Goodness isn’t too difficult to find in people’s actions, even when this sinful world’s in chaos.
But sometimes…I forget those simple truths I’ve known for years. Sometimes, I forget the goodness of God.
Continue reading “My Ink-Stained, Remembrance-Filled Practice”
Sometimes we make this whole pursuing-your-life-purpose thing so difficult.
I get it.
Because I do it.
I texted one of my very best friends yesterday, spilling my soul on what was really going on in my life, and she reminded me of something so important that I often forget:
Pursuing our life purpose starts first and foremost with loving God, not getting caught up in what we can do for Him.
Can we stop trying to change the world?
Listen close, for just a second.
I say: The world doesn’t need fixing, because it’s already been done.
I don’t mean the world’s perfect. I don’t mean the world’s not broken – just look around, steady your eyes on a little slice of the pain and you’ll be convinced in an instant that something’s sorely wrong, sucked nearly dry of hope.
But there is something greater than the brokenness that we see – something higher, bigger, more powerful than the messes we create for ourselves.
Continue reading “Why We Need to Quit Trying to Save the World”
The funny thing about writing is that it’s made up of so many ideas and so few realities. A lot of thinking, a lot of different visions of where to go – and then sitting down at the computer to actually write is often quite torturous.
Yes, I know I say I love this whole writing thing, but it’s really hard, alright?
There’s a lot of thinking involved. A lot of planning. A lot of daydreaming.
And then I sit down to my computer and the words don’t totally know where to go. They don’t know whether to form long sentences or short, to be sophisticated or poetic or blunt, to be precise or to be vague. They don’t know whether to arrange themselves into a concise doctrinal argument, or into a messy, heart-spilling session of vulnerability.
Continue reading “On Planning and When Things Turn Out Radically Different Than We Imagined”
Why do I even do this?
Deeply breathing, I eke out the words, one by one. And slowly, slowly, my fingers begin to glide over the keys, and I let my thoughts run.
I don’t really know what I’m doing.
Oftentimes, the words come out more vulnerable than I’d like them to be.
What if I’m not living the life I’m supposed to be living?
Wordless.
Sometimes that’s what life makes us.
When we see the tragedies in the world, our own selves falling apart, the world splitting with injustice, and evil, and suffering – we don’t know what to say.
In our heads, we know that God is all good, all powerful, and full of compassion and love.
Yet when life makes us ache, brings us to our breaking point, and the world shouts, “How could you believe in a God that allows you to suffer?” we’re often silent.
I don’t want to write just to write.
I penned these words in my journal on July 17th, 2015, a time when I was wrestling with the difference between simply writing words, and writing words that mean something.
After timidly claiming the title of “writer,” I decided that maybe that wasn’t who I truly was.
Continue reading “How to Pursue Purpose-Filled, Intentional Living”
Scattered Journal Pages 