The Blog of Amanda Joy Beguerie
As I learn to live, as I grow, as I experience life – I’m realizing that sometimes, life isn’t what it seems.
It’s hard, sure. It’s messy. Problems arise, we hurt and things break us, and it’s not easy to deal with all of it, oftentimes.
But truly…life can be simple.
I often overthink. Overplan. Overworry. Overdo everything, because I feel like I might mess things up if I don’t.
You know?
Continue reading “Living Every Little Moment: Experiencing A Full Life Right Here and Now”
It’s sheer irony that I’m writing this at four o’clock on a Friday afternoon.
This post has been gradually constructing itself in my head for a few months now, through the ups and downs of assignments and writing projects and stress and joy and all the lovely and not-so-lovely things that my life’s made up of.
Every day, around four o’clock in the afternoon, I get this feeling I can’t quite explain. It’s something of dread, of feeling as though I’ve wasted the day, this overwhelming sense of not-enough-ness.
It’s weird.
And Fridays, you know, “Thank God it’s Friday?” Those days send me into a panicked frenzy…because there’s something that’s taken me a few YEARS to fully understand, but it’s been here for a while:
It’s the feeling that the weekend’s finally here, but I haven’t done enough.
Welcome, everyone, to the November edition of the Purposeful Pages Link-Up – and the final edition.
Continue reading “Purposeful Pages Link-Up: November Edition”
Humanness.
There’s something so interesting about being a human being, living in this seemingly endless series of experiences and emotions, events and times of extreme joy and extreme pain.
Life is so beautiful, and so fragile, and we can be so sensitive to all of it.
I know I am.
I’ve noticed this pattern in myself and those around me, of being caught in this awkward middle place of knowing that the Christian answer is that only Jesus can satisfy me – and yet still chasing after these things that I’m sure will bring me happiness.
Because deep down, we all have these intrinsic desires in our hearts. And they’re not wrong at all. Unlike Buddhism, which says “All life is suffering, and suffering comes from desire; therefore, rid yourself of desire,” I say, no, we should keep on desiring.
Continue reading “How to Satisfy the Human Desire for Love, Joy, and Fulfillment”
The funny thing about writing is that it’s made up of so many ideas and so few realities. A lot of thinking, a lot of different visions of where to go – and then sitting down at the computer to actually write is often quite torturous.
Yes, I know I say I love this whole writing thing, but it’s really hard, alright?
There’s a lot of thinking involved. A lot of planning. A lot of daydreaming.
And then I sit down to my computer and the words don’t totally know where to go. They don’t know whether to form long sentences or short, to be sophisticated or poetic or blunt, to be precise or to be vague. They don’t know whether to arrange themselves into a concise doctrinal argument, or into a messy, heart-spilling session of vulnerability.
Continue reading “On Planning and When Things Turn Out Radically Different Than We Imagined”
So, you want to do something extraordinary?
Yeah, me too.
Make a difference. Change people’s lives. Bring hope to those seemingly hopeless. Impact, encourage, and inspire the world.
Sometimes, we just have this ache to…do something.
We see the model Christians over in Africa, digging wells and building schools, and those young teens starting nonprofits. We watch as people intervene in crises, take in refugees, adopt a houseful of kids, have this whole change-the-world-plan by age fourteen, and we’re over here in our cozy little homes drinking pumpkin spice lattes and sweeping the kitchen floor and feeling guilty.
Why do I even do this?
Deeply breathing, I eke out the words, one by one. And slowly, slowly, my fingers begin to glide over the keys, and I let my thoughts run.
I don’t really know what I’m doing.
Oftentimes, the words come out more vulnerable than I’d like them to be.
What if I’m not living the life I’m supposed to be living?
Wordless.
Sometimes that’s what life makes us.
When we see the tragedies in the world, our own selves falling apart, the world splitting with injustice, and evil, and suffering – we don’t know what to say.
In our heads, we know that God is all good, all powerful, and full of compassion and love.
Yet when life makes us ache, brings us to our breaking point, and the world shouts, “How could you believe in a God that allows you to suffer?” we’re often silent.
Scattered Journal Pages 