I think this is one of the most honest posts I’ve ever written. It’s nerve-wracking to post something so open, and even though I’ve talked to so many of you through comments and emails and everything, it isn’t easy to be straightforward. But here I am, and here’s my post. I hope it encourages you.
I’m not always sure how people perceive me, whether online or in real life. Like, what’s the impression people get when they read what I write or listen to me talk? Am I quirky? Confident? Cold? Bubbly? Fake? Scared?
I don’t know exactly how people see me, but I know how I see myself so many times.
Stressed. Weak. Afraid. Uneasy. Uncomfortable. Anxious. Frozen. Apprehensive. Shall I go on?
In my prayer journal this week, I wrote this.
“Please give me strength to face this day, this year, this life. I can’t do it on my own.”
It’s not as though there are too many major things going on in my life. In my head, of course, I run through a million things I need to do, tests to study for, situations and people to pray for, words I need to write, things I need to practice, jobs I need to do for people, how much I need to work, how long it’s okay to spend reading.
And it stresses me out.
The more pressures I’m put under, the weaker and more vulnerable I feel. I feel these ugly doubts creep up into my mind, that say things like, who do you think you are? A ‘writer?’ Blogging doesn’t even count. A musician? An editor? *laughs* You think you could actually ever be good at any of those things?
I never voice these things out loud, but I hear them.
And when I become conscientious of these thoughts, I realize, wow. I really can’t do this by myself.
The more I feel this stress and pressure, these things that I feel like I’m drowning under, the weaker I find myself. But the beautiful thing about my weaknesses is that I do not need to rely on my own strength.
2 Corinthians 2:9-10
“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
If I am self-sufficient and relying on my own strength to survive, I reject God in my life. And for the love of all things that taste like coffee, I don’t want to do that. I know I can not sustain myself and succeed, and so I gladly surrender.
“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”
“The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.”
Rest. Rest is what I need. When I know I can collapse into the arms of Jesus and give Him my burdens, I can face my day. My year. My life.
Are you overwhelmed? Run to Jesus, not away from Him. Are you scared? Seek refuge in your Heavenly Father, and not in yourself. Are you weak? Find your strength in your savior, and He will give you everything you need.
27 Replies to “Where Does Your Strength Come From?”
Thank you for this beautifully honest and open post. I find your words very helpful today when I am feeling very weak and overwhelmed. It was the perfect reminder that we can’t face this world alone. I sometimes feel that you are writing these messages just for me. 😀
I’m so blessed that you’re so touched by it! 😀 Thank you so much, I really appreciate it. Love you and miss you!
Wow. All of your recent posts have struck so close to home. Thanks for sharing and being open! 🙂
That’s so encouraging to hear. Thank you for reading them! 😀
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This beautiful! It comes from the openness, honesty and vulnerability. Keep it up! It definitely speaks to people. And I can relate. I’ve always been a stress-head. I’m learning to worry less and focus more on just doing things I enjoy rather than trying to be perfect. Also, I love how when we are weak, that’s when we find God. It’s not always fun in the moment, but I love how he draws us to him.
Thanks for your comment, Juni! I totally agree — when we are weak, He is strong. It’s such a blessing, isn’t it? I definitely need to worry less, and in reading the Bible, I find it easier to trust Him. Thanks for stopping by my blog and commenting! God bless. 🙂
What a beautiful post. I understand that feeling … Thank you so much for the encouragement, Amanda! You are a blessings! 🙂 ❤
Thank you, Shantelle. So glad you can relate too! 😀
Short, sweet, to the point … and just what I needed to hear this week. ❤ Love ya, girl!
I’m so blessed to hear that. ❤ I needed to hear it too.
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This is very inspiring…and super honest!! I totally struggle with these things too *nods* and it is really wonderful that you have the answer and know where to go to get back on your feet. :’)
Thanks for stopping by @ Paper Fury!
Oh, I’m so glad you think so, Cait. Sometimes, I think we all struggle with feeling not good enough or worrying about things we shouldn’t, and it brings me peace to know that there is a solution. It’s so easy and natural just to run around and freak out, but we really don’t need to do that. 🙂
Thanks for commenting here, too!
I literally just found your blog, and this whole post speaks to me so much! Thank you very much for writing it, because it really puts into words many of the things God’s been teaching me, and that I constantly need to be reminded of! This is exactly what I needed to hear as I’ve been thinking about the year that lies in front of me, so thanks again. 🙂
Oh, that is so good to hear! I love how God works so personally with all of us. It’s amazing! 😉 Thank you so much for stopping by my blog; how did you find me?
Yes, we can never win by our own strength! I kept finding myself depending on myself to change things, but really, I should be letting God guide me. Thank you for this beautiful post Amanda!
Thanks for commenting! 😉 I’m glad it ministered to you. It can be hard to break the habit of relying on self-trust, but it relieves so much pressure!
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Ahhhh I didn’t read this on Saturday, but that’s okay, because I really, really needed it this morning. ❤ It's been such a rough past couple weeks, but this morning was the hardest.
So much of the stress really just comes from ourselves. I think I often forget that. I also forget that my busiest days are when I need to spend time with God the most.
Thanks, twinsie. 🙂
I’m so glad! 😉 God always knows best, doesn’t He?
Somehow, I only saw the top part of that comment. WP does that to me sometimes. Gah. Anyway. Here’s part 2 of my response.
I totally agree that stress comes from ourselves. When we’re trapped in our own heads, thinking too much, and not even thinking about turning to God (or stubbornly refusing to). It’s frustrating because it’s a natural inclination of mine.
You’re welcome, Twinsie. Hehe.
That’s weird. Naughty WordPress.
WP looked like Water Princess to me…hehe… #hopelessfangirl
Ugh, yes. Very frustrating.
#hopelessfangirl ME TOO.
I so enjoyed this post. I think for blogs it’s good to have a really honest post every so often as a way to connect with your readers. Keep up the good work girl!
Thank you for your encouragement! I love being able to connect and converse with my readers over things that matter. You’re right, honesty does do that. Thank you for checking out my blog! God bless.
Wow, this was really good and such an encouragement. God’s been working on teaching me this over the past few years as it’s something I really struggle with. And I needed the encouragement. Thanks sooo much for posting!!
Thanks so much, Jesseca! Seems as though God is working on teaching all of us. 😉 I appreciate that you took the time to check out my blog. God bless!