Do I Really Trust? Let’s Find Out…

Do I Really Trust Let's Find Out...

This blog is titled Scattered Journal Pages for a reason, and it’s time I use the theme more than I do.

These are my contemplations, and the equivalent of what I would write (sort of) in my journal. My contemplations. Things I’m feeling, and learning, and growing from.

Yesterday (Monday) was a miserable day for me.

Actually, it really wasn’t miserable, but I was miserable. My attitude. My feelings. My outlook. And yes, a few days before, I had just written about not forgetting my joy.

I felt like a hypocrite, I really did. This girl who claims that joy lasts is not living with a joyful spirit.

And I mean, that totally happens. Sometimes we just succumb to our dark circumstances and make ourselves see only bitter dark tunnels with no end.

Some things have happened that have weighed on me emotionally, and I let that become the end.

Some people say they ‘can’t feel,’ but for me, it felt like I was just feeling so much. And for my future, I’m scared.

I have to do my own invented version of self-analysis when I feel this way.

Why am I so down?

I’m down because I’m scared to death.

Why am I so scared?

Because I have no idea what’s coming in the future.

Do I trust God?

Of course I trust God. Don’t I?

Do I trust that God’s plan is best, even when I can’t see it?

Well, I know it is.

 

Yes, but do I really trust? Do I trust that He will bring me through everything that happens to accomplish His plan?

Yes…I think so.

 

Do I trust that even if He doesn’t bring me through, that it’s for the best?

I don’t know. I should. Because I know it is. So, yes.

 

Then why am I still afraid?

Because…what if things never get better? What if my life stays just like this forever? What if I’m hopelessly lost for the rest of my life?

 

Should that really be my concern, though? Okay, let’s say things never get better. Say I have to live with my circumstances how they are long-term. Do I still trust that God’s way is perfect? Do I still believe that God has my life under control, that what happens happens, and that He will never leave me or forsake me?

*thinks for a long while* Yes, I do trust.

The light is what we make of it.

I told myself I was fumbling around in darkness. I told myself I had to be miserable. I told myself I was in a tunnel without and end. I told myself that there was no light.

 

But those are lies.

 

I forgot (temporarily) what the Bible says.

1 Thessalonians 5:18

“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”

I wasn’t giving thanks and living with what God had given me. But now I am.

2 Samuel 22:31

“This God—his way is perfect;

the word of the Lord proves true;

he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him.”

I wasn’t trusting that as hard as God’s plan may be, that it is the best. Now I am.

Jeremiah 29:11

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

I wasn’t trusting that God’s plans for me were for my welfare, future, or hope. But now I realize that they are.

Isaiah 55:8-9

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”

I was basing my fear of insecurity off of my perception of what was going on. Instead, I’ve refocused. I’ve realized that things may look like they’re impossible, but God has a plan through it all. That His ways are far better than mine.

The verses speak for themselves.

I want to encourage all of you today, don’t give up on trusting God.

Don’t give in to the lies that hold you captive.

Never lose hope that God’s ways are best, and whatever happens is for your good and His glory.

And please remind me of all of this when I feel like I’m in the dark!

*aj

I’ve Been Lied To.

I've Been Lied To.

I must say, life is quite confusing.

Everything in this world always contradicts itself.

For example, magazines tell us “Be yourself! You are wonderful just the way you are!” and then on the next page, “Nobody will love you if you don’t show at least 95% of your skin at all times. Be brash. Be bold. Throw away your moral compass.”

Wait. What?

I’m supposed to conform to this impossible image of a photoshopped person, and I’m also told to just be myself; both views are supported by most everyone.

Every day we hear:

“Nobody’s perfect. Embrace your imperfections.”

“If you don’t use this product or wear this item, nobody will like you.”

“Normal is boring. Be wild. Be free. Everything is a choice.”

AND HONESTLY, SOMETIMES I FEEL SO DISORIENTED BY IT ALL.

What’s right? What’s wrong? Am I just really weird? What if they’re right, and my life is a lie?

Ah, reader, don’t fret. Although the ways of the world are contradictory and insane, there is absolute truth that will stand forever.

For example, the world tells us that we are created by chance; accidents; mistakes. But do you want to know what God tells us?

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.” – Jeremiah 1:5

“I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.” – Psalm 139:14

The culture tells us that we are our own, and that what we do with our bodies doesn’t matter.

However, the Bible disagrees.

“Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.” – 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

The world says it’s all on us. We have no idea what’s coming. For all we know, the zombie apocalypse could come, World War IV is going to start right after that (because WWIII has probably already come and gone), and the sun is going to blow up one day and smash us to smithereens. And that’s why we buy lots of canned goods…????

Okay, as absurd as that sounds, when our lives aren’t based on truth, we won’t know what to think. But guess what. We are never alone, and God has promised us this:

Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all.” – Matthew 6:31-32

 “And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 4:19

Another lie? How about this one.

“Put yourself first. You deserve it.”

Umm. ExCUSE me?

“Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” – Philippians 2:4

And I can’t resist this one.

“Love is a feeling. That’s all.”

No, no, no. This is real love!

“In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.” – 1 John 4:10

And let me finish off with one last mistruth that destroys our culture.

What is it? That appearances are everything. All that matter. But let me assure you that that is not the case.

God looks at the heart. It doesn’t matter what anyone but He thinks.

“Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” – Proverbs 31:30

It’s absolutely true that the world lies to us. And it can really mess us up.

If we don’t believe the truth of who we are – “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” (2 Corinthians 5:17) – we won’t be able to move forward. We’ll be trapped.

But we needn’t be anymore.

*aj

Why Do I Always Fall For The World’s Lies?

Sweet Mercedes

Psalm 37:4

“Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”

Let me explain what I used to think this verse meant.

If I just read my Bible, pray, go to church, obey God, and love and serve Him, then He’ll give me what I want.

 

I don’t know if I fully understood that knowing God and loving Him was SERIOUSLY satisfying.

We’re all living in the world. (If you’re living in space right now, then hello! And yes, I’m talking to you too.) Every day, we hear messages from the world coming at us about what we “need”. “You need more money. You need more clothes. You need more stuff. You need to be dating. You need to be more beautiful/handsome. You need to be a perfect student. You need _____.” I think we all can fall for these things.

I mean, come on! Why else would we fall for the TV commercials that “promise” to do something for us?

One commercial that really bugs me is the mascara commercial that shows the woman with creepily long eyelashes and promises to give you longer and thicker eyelashes if you use their mascara. However, in the disclaimer, it says, “false eyelashes used in demonstration.” No joke.

This company has an interesting  (if not deceptive) technique.

  1. They obviously want people to buy their product, so they make it seem like all women need long and thick eyelashes, or they won’t be beautiful or happy.
  2. They use this “fact” to their advantage by offering a product that supposedly can fix this problem.
  3. They make it seem like the people that use their product are very beautiful and therefore happy.
  4. The product sells because the majority of the women that see the commercial think that by using this mascara, they will be beautiful. And if you’re beautiful, that must mean that you’re happy, right?

Well, NO. The only satisfaction that you and I will ever get is the perfect satisfaction that comes from a relationship with God.

So why do I always fall for the world’s lies?

Why do I always think that God will give me “what I want” by my forcible compliance?

I’ve figured something out.

Delighting myself in the Lord comes before knowing what the desires of my heart truly are. I can’t just say, “God, I want ______. So from now until 9:30 P.M. on Friday night, I will delight in you, and after that, I know you’ll be faithful to gimme the [pointless and little] thing I want.”

No way.

It must go the other way around.

By delighting ourselves in the Lord, we find out what the desires of our hearts really are. For example, a desire of my heart is to get to know God better – but this is only because I have found my true satisfaction (by delighting) in Him. And guess what? I get to know Him more and more every day. And this makes me insanely joyful.

(I also talk about happiness vs. joy in my fist post, here.)

The desires of my heart have changed because I have found that He is truly what I need (and what I really want!).

Is that crazy? Well, maybe it sounds that way.

Perhaps the question we should be asking is, “Which do we want? Temporary earthly things that won’t satisfy for long? Or things – like

a thriving and growing relationship with the Author of your soul – that will satisfy forever?

I know what the desires of my heart are because I know the One who rescued my soul.

I know where True Love comes from.

I know who I really am.

Do you know?