The Blog of Amanda Joy Beguerie
Hey, friends!
Normally, because it’s a Tuesday in the summer, we’d be doing a Bible study on one chapter in the book of Hebrews. However, because I need to get around to doing it, it’s time for a June monthly recap instead. And anyway, breaks are good!
Wow. I can’t believe that the year is half-over already. Can you? June’s gone and here we are in July. Let’s get onto the recap!
Friend, find joy in the journey. No, it’s not always easy. But I assure you, it’s always worth it.
Want to know a fact of life? We all deal with burnout from time to time.
I know. Not a very nice way to begin a blog post. BUT FEAR NOT, MY FRIENDS. I have some very good tips that I hope will help you as much as they’ve helped me.
Let’s face it: sometimes, fictional worlds just seem better than reality. Books, movies, TV shows – they’re usually crafted from stories created by writers.
I love all kinds of fiction, whether I’m absorbing an action-drama TV show or a riveting fantasy novel. In all honesty, they’re pretty great. We all love the well-developed characters – those people we can’t imagine not being real – the witty dialogue – the relationships between our “screen friends” – the realness of it all – the fact that we relate to it – the mood and setting – the music and filmography – the expressions – it’s the magic of everything working together that captivates us.
Maybe we like fiction because it’s an escape from reality. But at the same time, we want it to be realistic.
How on earth could this make any sense?
I believe we want reality in a neat little box. We want decisions to be simple, pain to be controlled, good to always win, and to be involved in something incredible. We want heroism. We want victory. We want to experience something powerful and bigger than ourselves.
But in our lives, neatness is not usually the case. Decisions are rarely black and white, with one choice as good and another evil. Morality isn’t always clear.
Pain happens. Hearts break. Happy endings don’t always come together. And for crying out loud, folks, our lives often seem so boring. We’re not chasing bad guys or riding dragons or being heroes or going on adventures through space and time.
So we read about it, and we entertain ourselves with fantasies of what’s not quite possible for us in this world.
And honestly, fiction is FANTASTIC. We can be intimately involved in the lives of our favorite characters and live vicariously through them. I love that aspect of it so much.
What I don’t like is that when I’m so involved in a world of writing, acting, and fangirly feels, my longing for the Bible tends to decrease. But why is this? As a girl who desperately wants to wholeheartedly desire the Word of God, I find myself frustrated when I feel like the Bible has become a chore.
I want to make sure it’s clear that I’m not trying to preach at anyone here, or demean fiction, or make it sound like I’m super-spiritual or something. I deal with the same things you do. I sometimes struggle to find motivation to read the Bible, as opposed to the novel beside my bed. I’m not perfect whatsoever, and I’m pulled between reading a devotion and watching my favorite show.
I don’t judge those who struggle to desire to read the Bible, because I think we’ll all encounter that sometime in our lives.
But what about when fictional realities seem more attractive than real life?
What do we enjoy about fantasy that makes us want to stay there, and what is it about the Bible that we treat it like work or obligation?
When did we forget that the Bible, salvation, and our very faith affects the whole universe, and those things are significantly larger than ourselves? When did we let our views of God’s amazing love and grace become dulled?
I’m addressing questions just like this in the book I’m writing right now. I don’t have every answer, but I’m really enjoying sharing my heart on such issues and further solidifying what I believe. I finished up Camp NaNoWriMo with 17,131 words, and while I’m still technically on the third (very very long) chapter, I’m getting so far.
Instead of trying to answer all the questions a lot of us have, I’m just going to ask us to think:
What’s so cool about fiction that it often seems cooler than Jesus?
Why does faith sometimes take the back burner when it comes to entertainment?
What can we do to grow in our hearts the desire of knowing Jesus better?
I’ll leave you with that for the night, because it’s extremely late and I’m losing coherence. For more posts on Bible reading, see these:
// The Bible Is Not A Burden: 3 Truths About God’s Word
// How to Read the Bible {effectively spending time with our Heavenly Father}
// Why Should I Read the Bible?
*aj
I’ve been really stressed out this week.
You’d think that for a girl who wrote about stress as the very first topic in her book, that I’d be all set.
But I’m not.
People that try to say that stress is nonexistent are wrong, because it totally does exist. And I’m wary to admit it, but stress does consume me sometimes, especially on weeks like this.
(I promise I won’t talk about my problems too much; I just want to give you guys some background.)
Most of you know that I’m doing Camp NaNoWriMo this month. I was doing great, but then I had a week of driver’s ed.
That was all last week. Six hours a day, five days in a row, on what was supposed to be my vacation. It wasn’t terrible, it really wasn’t, but it completely sapped my energy and I wrote a total of 300 words in that entire week, when I can usually write 300 in ten minutes. A writing rut, folks.
*cue dramatic sighing*
Plus, I have some things going on Friday through next week and I’m a little frazzled.
Well, maybe “a little” is an understatement. But I digress.
The point I want to make here is that as Christians, we try to come up with all these “cures” and “reliefs” for stress, when in reality, we’re only masking the problems. Things like “believing harder” or “confessing our sinfulness” or something.
We’re not really dealing with the issue of being stressed, we’re just telling ourselves that we shouldn’t be. But that isn’t fixing anything.
Before you write me off as super-religious, vague, and unhelpful, let me attempt to explain what I mean.
Stress, in and of itself, is not bad. In fact, it can be helpful when trying to achieve a goal. Deadlines are beneficial, and a little extra adrenaline never hurt anyone. Stress can motivate us to just do it.
But the scary part comes in when we’re so overwhelmed by stress that we let it overtake us. We let our feelings consume us and blind us to the hope we have.
Instead of letting stress dictate how we live our lives, we can live in grace. We can know that failing does not make us failures, as I wrote about on Saturday. We can know that we are loved no matter what we do, instead of thinking that our worth is based on our performance. We can know that nothing can separate us from Christ’s love.
I believe that much of our stresses revolve around having to get things done.
For me, this week, it’s studying enough for my test on Monday, completing 6,000 more words before Saturday, and juggling life on top of that.
Part of me is screaming “I CAN’T DO ALL THIS!” because it probably is too much, in the first place. But the other part of me is listening to the lies that are telling me it’s the end of the world if:
I have this weight that’s pulling me down, because I feel like I have to do everything, and everything flawlessly. Is that possible? No. Do I make myself try anyway, and crush myself in the process? Why yes, yes I do. Is it smart or wise? Absolutely not. Do I know this? Yes, I do.
So what is wrong with me???
I have let stress overtake me and affect my thoughts.
Maybe I’m writing this post just for me today. Maybe I’m the only one that needs to remember that stress doesn’t have to control every hour of my life.
Maybe I’m the only one that needs a reminder of renewed grace for each day. Maybe I’m the only one that needs to be encouraged, especially when I do fail (because I’m very far from perfect).
Maybe I’m the only one that needs to be reminded to do MY best, and not necessarily expect myself to do THE best. I’ll do the best I can, but not beat myself up over what I wasn’t capable of.
But if that’s you too, please know that you’re not alone.
If you’re stressed out of your mind, I won’t try to “fix it,” I’ll only say this. You are not alone. You do not have to handle everything yourself; take some pressure off. And I promise, there is always grace for you.
*aj
It’s been a few weeks since Easter. Spring has pretty much sprung, and the excitement around Eastertime has mostly faded.
But it doesn’t cease to be my favorite holiday.
See, while we celebrate the Resurrection of Christ, we also celebrate the Resurrection of ourselves. Let me elaborate.
When Jesus died, we died with Him. Our sin was totally, 100% paid in full. Why? In order that we might be freed from sin’s control over us and the condemnation that comes with it.
Romans 6:4-6
“We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life. For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we shall certainly be united with him in a resurrection like his. We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin.”
And because we have died with Christ, He has raised us and given us new life. We are alive and free.
We have new life, and therefore, we are to walk in that newness. While I was contemplating this concept, a verse came to mind.
On Easter Sunday morning, three days after Jesus died, some women went to His tomb with spices to honor His body. Upon finding it, they were made aware that His body was gone.
The angel outside the tomb met them and said this, as it tells us here in Luke 24:5b. “Why do you seek the living among the dead?” And in verse 24:6 “He is not here, but has risen.”
That’s my question for us. Why do we seek the living among the dead?
In other words, why do we act as though we are still dead in our sins when we have been raised to life?
Why do we walk crippled and in defeat when Jesus has been victorious already?
Why do we forget this verse?
Galatians 2:20
“I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”
Christ lives in us, so not only do we not have to live in defeat, but we can live in victory.
We are not dead. We are not enslaved to sin. We are not controlled by the very thing that condemns us.
We are alive. We have hope. We have assurance of salvation and victory.
1 Corinthians 15:57
“But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.”
So why do we seek the living among the dead? Why do we forget that we are, in fact, alive, and God sees us as sinless?
2 Corinthians 5:16-17
“From now on, therefore, we regard no one according to the flesh. Even though we once regarded Christ according to the flesh, we regard him thus no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.”
God does not regard us according to the flesh, that is, our sin. So why do we do it to ourselves and others?
Simply because we see the imperfections in our own lives. But we need not dwell on them. If God sees us as new, why should we treat ourselves as if we’re dead? If God sees us in victory, why should we see ourselves as if we’re failures?
We shouldn’t.
We are not dead; we are alive with Christ. Let us live in light of that. Let us live constantly in the Word of God, seeing how He sees us. Let us live in the joy of our salvation, rejoicing in what HE has done for us. Let us live with a focus not on ourselves, but on God. When our focus is on Him, it is not on our sin, but on His perfection manifested in us.
Romans 6:10
“For the death he died he died to sin, once for all, but the life he lives he lives to God.”
To live a life “alive to Christ” is to let go of our old nature, and to embrace the magnificence of how God sees us. We are new, and there is no condemnation for us.
Romans 8:1
“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”
*aj
I stood in the middle of the park, taking in the fresh air and glancing at the bench that was calling for me to take a rest on it. I was tired. I had just been walking around and the sun was beating down on me.
And then I saw it.
That ugly, menacing, obnoxious sign that warned, “WET PAINT. DO NOT TOUCH BENCH.” What was I, an obedient dog? That sign couldn’t tell me what to do. So I took it as a challenge. “I’ll show it who’s in charge,” I thought to myself. And so, I decided to touch it.
Of course I did.
I don’t remember whether the paint on the bench had dried or not, but as soon as I touched it, I was immediately made aware of the fact that I had disobeyed the sign. Of course I didn’t commit a criminal offense, but I knew I hadn’t done what the “rule” had ordered me to. And thinking back on that experience has given me a new perspective on some things.
Rules don’t change hearts.
Mom says don’t eat the cookie, and what do I do? Eat the cookie.
So-and-so says don’t go here, do this, say that, and what do I do? I go there. I do that. I say whatever it is I’m not supposed to say. Because you know what? Having a list of do’s and don’ts doesn’t change my heart, it makes whatever I’m not supposed to do seem so much more appealing.
Now, this may seem messed up. And it is. We’re obviously not supposed to sin, it’s wrong and all that, but it just-so-happens to be in our nature.
Romans 5:12-13
“Therefore, just as sin came into the world through one man, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men because all sinned— for sin indeed was in the world before the law was given, but sin is not counted where there is no law.”
Adam sinned and passed that sinful nature onto us. From the day we’re born, we’re doomed to have the instinct to do that thing, the selfish thing, the disobedient thing, the thing that puts us first, that thing that elevates us to think we can conquer life on our own.
And even if we feel that pang of guilt when we do what we know isn’t right or good, we tend to ignore it and do it anyway. Even the “good people” do, because it’s not something we can control by ourselves.
We are dead in our sins on our own.
Ephesians 2:1-8
“And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience— among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.”
I know that’s a very long and dense passage, but it’s so important.
We were dead in our sins, chained to a life of immorality and evil. But because of God’s grace for us, He gave us life.
The difference between death and life isn’t just the difference between going to either Heaven or Hell someday. As much as that’s definitely part of it, it’s not all.
The difference between death and life is the difference between being controlled by the sin nature or being controlled by the Holy Spirit.
People have a misconception that when you’re a Christian, you try to live a decent life, be a good person, and be kind to everyone. That it’s all about trying harder. That if we mess up it’s because we did something really wrong, so we just brush ourselves off and try “harder” next time.
But that can be just as futile as is trying to live a perfect life while we’re still entrenched in sin. Trying to impose rules does one thing: shows us that we cannot be perfect.
Look at this verse.
Romans 3:20
“For by works of the law no human being will be justified in his sight, since through the law comes knowledge of sin.”
The Ten Commandments were given to us to show us that we needed a Savior, not to force us to be moral people in order to earn salvation. We’ve already established in Ephesians 2 that grace is a gift, and has nothing to do with our trying to earn it.
In our recognizing our need for a Savior, in accepting that amazing and undeserved grace of God that FORGIVES US and removes our sin for us, we are made blameless in His sight. We are given the Holy Spirit inside of us to overcome our sinful nature and make us new.
2 Corinthians 5:17
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.”
Romans 5:17
“For if, because of one man’s trespass, death reigned through that one man, much more will those who receive the abundance of grace and the free gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man Jesus Christ.”
The law showed us our sin and revealed to us that we needed someone to keep the law for us – namely, Jesus. He didn’t just keep it, but He gave up His life as a sacrifice.
Hebrews 9:22
“Indeed, under the law almost everything is purified with blood, and without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness of sins.”
I’m not advocating disobedience to the law here. I’m really not. I’m not saying we can do whatever we want and it doesn’t matter because we’re forgiven.
Galatians 5:1
“For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.”
We’re free, and by knowing this, we should not want to waltz back into what we’ve been saved from. We don’t need to “just work harder” at being a “good person,” we need to submit to the Holy Spirit working in our lives. In this way, we throw away slavery and embrace our amazing freedom.
Making rules doesn’t change hearts. The Holy Spirit does. Live in your freedom!
*aj
Good morning, friends.
I’ve been wanting to write this blog post for a few weeks now. As a side note, tomorrow (February 17th) is my blogiversary! I’ve been writing here for 364 days so far, and what a journey it’s been.
I’m going to try to have a nice post up celebrating that tomorrow, with a survey and such…but we’ll see how it goes.
This year, blogging has made my life busier. I’m more consumed with writing, responding to comments, practicing with graphic design, meeting new people and staying in touch with them…all that crazy fun stuff.
And this is on top of schoolwork (which can drive me up the wall with discouragement at times), editing (which can hassle me with my perfectionism and procrastination), working, practicing music, and trying to take time for me.
Needless to say, my life can get stressful, and mostly for the pressure I put on myself. And my stress can lead to depression and discouragement. The more stressed I get, the less I want to work hard, and the less hard I work, the more stressed I get because nothing’s getting done.
Exasperating system, right?
I’m not going to keep boring you all with my woes, though. I just want to address a flaw that I’ve seen in my own life.
Distraction.
When I’m stressed, I do one of a few things.
I mope or hide.
I listen to music.
I find some book to lose myself in.
I watch YouTube videos (all good ones, mind you) or TV.
Basically, I turn my distractions up to drown out my life.
But when it comes to the end of the TV show, or the song, or the end of the book, and I’m woken back up to reality, I realize that nothing has changed. I haven’t improved my condition; I’ve enhanced it by drawing it out longer. And that is the worst feeling in the world.
When I use distractions – like adding more busyness to my already-hectic life – I’m essentially saying to God, You’re not enough for me. You can’t handle this, I can. My distractions can fix me, and You can’t.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. That’s not the right attitude.
And I know this is wrong. I totally know. I totally know I’m doing myself so much more harm than good. I know, I know, I know. But at some point in my life, that whole “Jesus is enough for me” thing seemed to be just talk, because I didn’t understand how to apply it.
We as Christians can waltz around, saying things like, “All you need is Jesus, and your life will be good.” Or “If you only pray, your situation will improve.” And “God will turn your life from messy to perfect.”
Cliché, right? And yet we say them. I mean, I suppose those first two statements could be stretched to be kind of right, but when we speak them literally, we completely deceive ourselves.
It’s 100% true that Jesus fills that hole in our hearts for meaning.
It’s 100% true that God has everything under control.
It’s 100% true that prayer works.
It’s 100% true that God takes us as we are, messy and sinful, and transforms our lives.
It’s 100% true that He never abandons us.
But He doesn’t give us easy lives.
Prayer isn’t like writing a wish list to Santa Claus or pressing a button on a vending machine.
He doesn’t (normally) speak to us in an audible voice.
He isn’t “magical” or like some genie.
But He does long for us to know Him.
He does speak to us in our hearts.
He does provide for our needs.
He does love us with an everlasting love.
And He can (and does!) heal our souls.
When we have problems, we shouldn’t hide from the God who knows what they’re like.
We shouldn’t try to handle things on our own, because quite frankly, we can’t.
Now, you know I can say all these things, and you can nod your little head, but just talking about something doesn’t help when it comes to practical life.
What should we do when we’re stressed out, depressed, discouraged, lonely, feeling hopeless, anxious, or downcast? What?
Pray. Cry out to God. Accept His strength.
This is our chance to say, “God, I cannot do this on my own, and I need your strength to sustain me.”
Psalm 34:17-18
“When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”
Philippians 4:6-7
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
Listen to the truths in the Word of God (aka the Bible). Find refuge in Him, rather than yourself.
Psalm 30:5
“Every word of God proves true; he is a shield to those who take refuge in him.”
Psalm 119:105
“Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.”
Psalm 119:114
“You are my hiding place and my shield; I hope in your word.”
Psalm 91:1-2
“He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the Lord, ‘My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.’”
Okay, prayer and Bible is great…but we know that already. What else can we practically do to take control of our feelings?
Prioritize.
While this isn’t necessarily spiritual advice, it’s definitely helped me. For me, prioritizing means making a list (yes, a real list on paper with a pencil) of things I need to get done overall. And then, setting manageable daily goals to accomplish those goals.
If it’s still too overwhelming, I rethink my priorities.
Is there anything I can cut out or take a break from? Is there anything I can change my mind about and say, “I’m sorry, I just can’t do ___ right now?” Is there anything that I can put less time or effort into?
God doesn’t want us to be stressed. He wants us to rest in Him, and not freak out over our messy lives. It’s okay to say no. It’s okay to be imperfect. It’s okay to rest.
And lastly…
Build time in for rest.
Rest can take all types of different forms. This may be watching TV, pursuing a hobby, hanging out with friends, or taking time just to chill out and do nothing. This isn’t wrong. It’s good to take time to breathe, and good to take time to do what you love. There is no shame in that.
Take time to rest, take mental breaks, but of course, don’t use those things to disguise real pressure. Deal with the pressure, and additionally, take time to unwind and relax.
Live refreshed. Pressures come, absolutely. But when we can control some of our stress, we should. When we are stressed, we need to turn to God and find the peace that we need. Trust me, it’s there.
Never forget that God is always in control, and stress doesn’t have to be.
*aj
Scattered Journal Pages 