Scattered Journal Pages

June 16, 2015June 15, 2015

Guest Post – What Can I Do? – By Rachel Joy

Happy Tuesday, my friends. Today we have a SURPRISE! My wonderful friend, Rachel Joy, is here to be my guest blogger for the day. She writes every Monday and Friday over at her blog, Noteworthy. It’s an honor to have her here with us today, and I hope you take the time to check out her blog! Enjoy. 🙂

“I’m done!” I internally screamed, my heart beating with vehemence.

As some teenagers do, I then proceeded to turn my music up probably a little bit too loudly. What can I do?

Nothing.

So why not just sit here and listen to music probably a little bit too loudly?

Did you know that there are people who are literally dying on the streets of hunger, illness, and are being abused within an inch of their lives and then expected to put a full day of work in? Did you know there are children younger then my kid brothers who are being sold into slavery?

Which is frustrating, because really what can I do?

I would love to just fix the whole thing. But it’s not that easy.

There are kids my age who are making choices every day– both for good and for evil.

I would love to talk to all the kids who are making stupid choices and just tell them about about Jesus and the amazing life that he gives, but let’s be honest, would they listen to me? Probably not.

Which creates more frustrating problems. Because really, what can I do?

How can I fix this?

It’s a messy world. The chaos that is going on everywhere isn’t getting any less messy.

I wish I could just press this magic button. A sort of “Clear all” or “Escape” key and then everything could just be perfect.

I mean here I am, just sitting here being, like, a normal teenager in the midst of all this insanity.

What?

Here I am just watching the world fall apart and doing nothing but listening to really loud music and banging away on the poor abused keys of my laptop.

It’s so hard to realize that there is nothing I can do. There is no magic button, magic speech, no blog post I could write that could change the world.

The truth of the matter is I can only be in instrument of that God uses to fix it. I can only point and lead people to Jesus.

Which… is actually really hard. It means that you have to trust in him unconditionally. It means you have to surrender to whatever he asks you to do and that you have to fix your eyes on Him even though the road is narrow and the world is exploding everywhere.

It’s not easy. Not easy at all.

It’s not easy to keep being hopeful even when everything is crashing in. It’s not easy to believe that God is forever sovereign. It’s not easy to trust in His unfailing love and that He has a plan that is for our good.

I know that bad things happen. I also know that the world is messed up because of this ugly thing called sin. But we have hope. Jesus told us we would have trouble – in fact that’s why He died for us. He died to overcome the insanity of this world. He died to break the power of sin and death.

He died to give us peace and grace and His Holy Rest.

So that we can stand strong and lead people to Him and His rest.

Sure, it’s gonna be hard. It’s hard to think about the people who are younger then my brothers who are trapped in the chains of slavery.

It’s hard to think about my peers who are in the process of ruining the rest of their lives.

It’s hard to think about the people all across America – and the rest of the world – who don’t know about the redeeming love of Christ.

How can I fix this?

Point them to Jesus.

And know that He is sovereign- even when I can’t see it.

“It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he enables me to stand on the heights. He trains my hands for battle; my arms can bend a bow of bronze. You give me your shield of victory, and your right hand sustains me; you stoop down to make me great. You broaden the path beneath me, so that my ankles do not turn.” ~Psalm 18:32-36

~Rachel Joy

June 13, 2015June 12, 2015

Praise God!

So, I’ve been thinking a lot lately. I’ve been thinking about a “Christianese” phrase that gets tossed around a lot. Thinking about this common phrase has brought me to question when and why we actually say this.

I suppose that there are many ways to say “Praise God,” or “Praise the Lord.” But we hear it a bunch from “Spiritual” people, don’t we?

“He got a new job!” “Well, Praise the Lord!”

“She bought a house!” “Oh, Praise God!”

“They’re finally engaged!” “That’s awesome! Praise God!”

Okay, I’m NOT saying that it is bad to say this (somewhat clichéd) phrase, but I’m simply objecting to the when and the why.

For example, if my house burns down, am I going to get a bunch of calls the next day from my friends saying “Praise the Lord!”? Um, in this day and age, probably not. Because we, as 21st century Christians, tend to praise God for things that make us happy. (Funny thing. Kind of ironic, seeing that we are always saying that earthly things don’t matter.)

Since when do we only praise God about happy things? Since when do we only say “Praise the Lord” about things that we like and decide to be thankful for?

Hebrews 13:15 says, “Through him then let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that acknowledge his name.”

I think that we all know that life isn’t always easy or pleasant. Therefore, ‘continually’ must mean always, and if life isn’t always easy, then that means that no matter what we are to praise God.

No matter what.

Or, how about this verse?

Psalm 150:6 states, “Let everything that has breath praise the Lord! Praise the Lord!”

Since every person has breath, this applies to all of us.

Everything and everyone and always.

Doesn’t sound very subjective to me.

See, it’s absolutely wonderful to praise God about good things. But we also must praise Him in the hard things. Do you want to know why?

God ALWAYS has a plan. He is ALWAYS in control. He is ALWAYS sovereign. He is ALWAYS God, and is ALWAYS worthy of praise. He never changes, so we should praise Him consistently. He is constant, and so should our praise to Him be.

(Cool side note: Right now, as I’m writing this, I’m listening to Hillsong’s new album, Empires. And a wonderful song came on for the first time that I’m hearing it, called Even When it Hurts (Praise Song). You wanna know what it’s about? Praising God, even when it hurts. *jaw drops*)

God is good, all the time. No exceptions! Let us praise Him with every word that comes out of our mouths, in every circumstance. He is worthy of our praise. ALWAYS.

*aj

June 9, 2015June 8, 2015

Majesty Meets Mercy (Part 2)

On Saturday, I shared part 1 of Majesty Meets Mercy. I focused more on the majesty and splendor and marvelousity of God. (Yes, I just invented a new word. I like the word marvelousity.)

Here’s the last thing I shared, and I want to dig even deeper into this today.

God. Designed. It. All. He designed it all, and has an eternal plan.

And yet, He cares. He’s not the giant mural artist who ignores the little specks of paint. No. No splotch of color is too small for Him to see. We are the specks, and He cares for all of us. ALL OF US!

This God – El Shaddai, Elohim, Yahweh, Adonai – in all of His majesty – is Abba. Father. He cares about us, because He is our Designer, Creator, Sustainer, and Provider. He is our Father, and loves us more than we will ever comprehend! He has mercy on us – His children – though His majesty is overwhelming. He is a BIG God, and yet he is a loving Father.

Mercy.

(Hillsong UNITED wrote a song called Mercy Mercy. I love it. It embodies this message, so I highly recommend that you listen to it.)

So what exactly is mercy? Mercy – mercy is when we are not given what we deserve. When we are guilty, but no charges are pressed.

When you think about that, that’s pretty amazing.

You don’t need mercy, you say? Well…hmm. I know we all need mercy. Here’s why.

God gave us free will – to obey Him, or to disobey. What did we choose? Disobedience, and utter abuse of freedom. What was meant to be a wonderful thing – freedom – became an ugly thing; Dr. Jekyll became Mr. Hyde; paradise became pain; love became hate.

We’ve all sentenced ourselves to death.

There’s no room for pleading here. We all deserve our fate. We all deserve an eternity in Hell, separated from God. We deserve to be cut off from holiness.

But wait. This is where mercy comes in.

Mercy says that God, in all His splendor and glory and marvelousity and infinity, became nothing, to extend His grace to us. Mercy says that when we deserved death, He gave us life. Not a life of slavery. Not a life imprisoned. Not a life of duty and obligation. No, mercy says that God freed us from sin and the curse that it brings. We were given freedom when we deserved death.

Philippians 2:5-11 explains this better than I can:

“Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.”

Mercy says that God became man – a servant, even – to extend His mercy and grace to His beloved children.

Yes, we are His beloved. We are His estranged children, the ones that He is calling to Himself.

We are loved and we are found. Because of His Amazing Grace, we are given mercy. The majesty of God has met mercy. We are loved and forgiven, sin washed away and we are free. And all we have to do is accept it.

Romans 10:9 says,

“Because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”

That’s it.

Mercy has brought me to my knees.

I have seen what I deserve, and I don’t want to go there. I deserve to be a slave, and in exchange, I have been freed. What is this love that is so marvelously lavish?! I do not deserve it! I fall to my knees in awestruck wonder, because majesty has met mercy. God has met me where I am. This, my friend, is the mercy and grace of God.

I don’t know if I will ever understand it.

But oh, am I overwhelmed. I am so thankful. And now, why would I ever want to go back to my old life? Why would I want to crawl back into my old, cold prison cell? Why would I ever want to live as a slave to sin?

Truthfully, I do not want to. Mercy has rescued me. I am a new creation because I am in Christ, and I am not ever going back.

*aj

June 6, 2015June 8, 2015

Majesty Meets Mercy (Part 1)

Think about the word “majesty.” And “splendor.” I love these words. Do you want to know what I think of when I think of these? Well, let’s take a trip inside my mind.

I take a deep breath.

Majesty. Splendor. Vastness and greatness, beauty and extravagance. Nature in full glory. The snow-capped purple mountains in their hugeness. I spin around to take in the breathtaking scenery around me.

Beside this image, I see the ocean. The cool and crisp water rolls in, and teases my toes at the shore. The expansion of the sea reminds me of my finite mind and invites me to awaken my thoughts to the tossing and turning of the waves, miles and miles offshore.

Let’s come out of Amanda’s mind now and dig into the Bible. The Book of Psalms, chapter 104. PLEASE read it! You can read it here. (Or, open your Bible to Psalm 104.)

Did you read it yet?

Okay.

(I didn’t want to put it directly in this post, because it would take up half of the post, and that’s kinda long.)

Although I would really love to elaborate on every verse, well, that could easily be five posts. (Two and a half weeks!) So I’ve picked out a few of my favorite verses.

Verses 1-4:

“Bless the Lord, O my soul!

O Lord my God, you are very great!

You are clothed with splendor and majesty,

covering yourself with light as with a garment,

stretching out the heavens like a tent.

He lays the beams of his chambers on the waters;

he makes the clouds his chariot;

he rides on the wings of the wind;

he makes his messengers winds,

his ministers a flaming fire.”

GOD IS VERY GREAT! Clothed with splendor and majesty, and covered with light. (Isn’t that mental image awesome? Stretching out the heavens – makes the clouds His chariot – rides on the wings of the wind – oh goodness. The best part about this is that it’s not just great writing. It’s great explaining of infinite concepts, and inspired by God Himself.)

Verses 5-9 (my favorites!):

“He set the earth on its foundations,

so that it should never be moved.

You covered it with the deep as with a garment;

the waters stood above the mountains.

At your rebuke they fled;

at the sound of your thunder they took to flight.

The mountains rose, the valleys sank down

to the place that you appointed for them.

You set a boundary that they may not pass,

so that they might not again cover the earth.”

Let me just say that that imagery is amazing. And absolutely 100% TRUE. God is in control of everything, ever. He spoke the universe into being. He created everything so beautifully and everything WORKS! He created perfection itself!

The mountains rose, the valleys sank down to the place that God (in all of His wisdom) appointed for them. No rolling hill is an accident, no fingerprint is a mess-up, no piece of the ocean is in the wrong place, no island is a mile too close or too far away from where God wanted it to be, no face is formed wrong.

God. Designed. It. All. He designed it all, and has an eternal plan.

On Tuesday, I’ll get more into this, so stay tuned for Majesty Meets Mercy (Part 2)!

*aj

June 2, 2015June 2, 2015

Speaking Love

Sometimes I feel wordless.

I don’t have anything to say.

I can’t express what I’m really thinking. These swirling words in my head stubbornly refuse to be made into sentences.

I want to write, but what if I lead people astray? What if my “wisdom” isn’t really wise? What if I don’t even know what I’m saying? What if I never live out the advice that I give?

These thoughts cloud my mind when I try to write each day.

What if I’m not good enough? What if my vision for my writing gets in the way of what I should be saying?

I know I shouldn’t think these things. Because I know that I need to be doing this. God has called me to do this. To lean on him for strength when my words are not enough. (Because they won’t be. My life is lived in His strength.)

However, I don’t want to just find a Bible verse and pick it apart. I don’t want to just pick a topic and talk on and on for 800 words about it.

I want to speak God’s words. I want to rely on Him for my words to come, and not just force them out through my fingertips.

Sometimes, it is disappointing, because the words don’t come. God speaks to me, and I know that. But when I try to share it, I lose it. (Maybe that’s just me. Or maybe it is a good thing, to keep me from speaking idle words.)

I can’t speak idle words. Idle words – words without the love of God behind them – are clanging cymbals. Annoying and useless for hearing anything.

1 Corinthians 13:1-8 says,

“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.”

Without love – that is, God’s love behind everything we do – nothing matters. It doesn’t matter if I donate $10,000 to an orphanage in Africa. It doesn’t matter if I have a huge amount of faith to accomplish whatever I want. It doesn’t matter if I’m the “godly girl.” It doesn’t matter if I can prophesy, or speak in tongues, or whatever. Without God’s love, everything is useless.

If I write eloquent words while blogging and speak to thousands of people, but have not love, it is all worth nothing.

Love should drive the entirety of our lives. Not just Sunday. Not just at church, or at Bible study, or in a specific place.

Whether I write or whether I don’t, my life should reflect the love of God in every single thing I do.

When I feel wordless, it is okay.

It is better to speak ten words out of love than to speak ten thousand idle words.

I want my life to be rooted in and stemming from the love of God, not out of self-motivation or selfish desires.

I want God’s love to drive my writing, and His will to flow through me.

I want to do away with idle words and only write what He has for me to say.

I want to speak love.

*aj

May 30, 2015May 30, 2015

Someone Understands!

Do you ever feel like God just wouldn’t understand?

Like He couldn’t care about you? Or that because He is God, He would never be able to understand what it is like to be a human? How to help you with your problems? “He isn’t like me. He’s invisible and is probably busy with all His God-like duties.”

Hebrews 4:14-16 says,

“Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”

It’s like the classic teenager’s excuse not to talk to their parents about anything. “They wouldn’t understand, they’re not my age.” Okay, well, they were your age. Did you think they were born adults???

It’s the same with Jesus.

Yes, He is fully God. But He was also fully human, and in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin.

Jesus is the mediator (also called “High Priest”) between us and God. He isn’t “un-relatable” or “doesn’t understand” or is too far off to get involved in our lives. He lived our lives. He was fully human. He fully sympathizes with our weaknesses! Jesus was tempted to “steal the cookie,” just like we are. (Okay, maybe not cookies. Cookies probably didn’t exist in the first century.) Just as we are tempted to sin, He was. Just as our hearts get broken, His did too. He was fully God yet fully human, and we can’t take that lightly.

We can’t hide from God. First of all, it is impossible. Second of all, He doesn’t want us to. He loves us and wants what’s best for us. He wants us to get to know Him. He is our Heavenly Father and paid the penalty for our sin so we could spend our lives (and eternity – in heaven) with Him. He wants us to draw near to His throne (pray) CONFIDENTLY, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

In time of need – for me, that’s every minute. Why do we have confidence? Because we are His children, and He loves us ever so much. His grace covers us, and will help us. He wants us to come to Him.

Jesus understands what it is like to be tempted and to suffer (hello, he was tortured and executed the most painful way possible). And Jesus is God! God wants us to come to Him, because He knows how much we need Him. Jesus, our High Priest, sympathizes with us and is on our side.

Isn’t it great to have the GOD of the UNIVERSE on our side? Empowering us! Giving us GRACE! Helping us through hard times! I don’t know about you, but that’s really encouraging to me.

Don’t ever forget that.

*aj

May 27, 2015May 28, 2015

Book Thursdays: BLOG TOUR – A Dream Not Imagined Review

Hey everyone!!

This week, I have a wonderful new book to share with you. It’s A Dream Not Imagined by Shantelle Mary Hannu. Today through the 31st are the days of her blog tour to spread the word about it! And I’m REALLY excited, because I got to pre-read and review this adorable tale.

Today is the release date!!! Congratulations, Shantelle!!! A Dream Not Imagined is such a wonderful story.

About the Book

A MAID, a PRINCE, and a DUKE. A GARDENER, a STEPMOTHER, and a secret…

Ellie Abbington, a beautiful yet unassuming young woman, quietly longs for her life to change. Too privileged to associate with the servants—too underprivileged to associate with her own family; she dreams a dream of a prince and a happily ever after.

But it could be that her own stepsisters, conniving Dezmarie and easily-influenced Adelaide, are dreaming the same dream…of the same prince.

In the end, are dreams even all they’re made out to be? Especially with deep and long-hidden secrets about to be unearthed?

A Dream Not Imagined is a non-magical fairytale novella based loosely on the classic tale of Cinderella.

My Review:

As it is said in the previous paragraph, this story is a non-magic (but absolutely delightful!) fairytale loosely based on the story of Cinderella. Key word: loosely based. Honestly, if we knew exactly what was going to happen, where would be the fun in that?

Ellie Abbington is our protagonist in this story. She has two snobby stepsisters, a strict stepmother, and an unloving father. Despite being abused by her family in her life as a maid, unaccepted by those of her flesh and blood, and not seeming to fit in amongst the other servants, Ellie maintains her sweet personality and is never one to argue back at the unfair demands of those around her. Ellie dreams of her future with Prince Charles, who notices her in a crowd of many. Could this be her dream to be noticed and loved coming true?

A Dream Not Imagined is a novella strongly rooted in faith and true love. It’s not a fluff story, although you could read it that way if you wanted to (and get more out of it than you expect!). The story is lovely, and I truly have no objections to it whatsoever.

But there’s a twist.

Perhaps even the best dreams are the ones we haven’t even imagined yet. Our love stories are the most beautiful when we allow God to write and orchestrate them. This is the central theme of the book, and it makes the love story even better. *sighs with happiness*

When I read it, I was soooooo not prepared for everything the story would entail. But it was so much fun! The ending made me cry so happily. (Side note: I was laying in my bed at the time that I was reading it and I felt tears slide all the way across my face and onto my pillow. Books that make me cry have to be REALLY good, so examine the evidence for yourself.)

As I’m writing it, I’m being reminded what a special tale this is (and I’m going to go read it again!). If you’d like to get your hands on A Dream Not Imagined, today is the day! Check out the giveaway at the bottom to enter to win it. And if you don’t win, well, it’s only $0.99, and a $0.99 that you will not regret spending. 🙂

About the Author

Shantelle Mary Hannu was born in the mountainous west, spending her golden childhood years there. Since then, she has relocated time and again with her parents and seven siblings, making cherished memories in both the South and Central United States.
A Christian homeschool graduate, Shantelle has a passion for writing and all things books. From a young age she’s been penning tales with a hope of sharing with the world adventurous and soul-stirring stories that bring glory to God.
A Dream Not Imagined, a fairytale novella, is her first published book. She’s currently preparing a full-length fantasy novel for publication as well, and working on its sequel.
Shantelle blogs at A Writer’s Heart: http://shantellemaryh.blogspot.com/ about her stories, favorite books and movies (with reviews), healthy wheat-free recipes, and hosts fellow authors, among other things. One of her joys is connecting with fellow writers and readers! You can also find her on:

Facebook: Shantelle Mary Hannu, Author (https://www.facebook.com/pages/Shantelle-Mary-Hannu/1622068488014168?ref=aymt_homepage_panel)

Twitter: @shantellemary (https://twitter.com/shantellemary)

Goodreads: Shantelle Mary Hannu (https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/13804303.Shantelle_Mary_Hannu)

Google+: Shantelle H. (https://plus.google.com/101772131563789927466/posts)

Pinterest: Shantelle H. (https://www.pinterest.com/h0160/)

Purchase as a kindle book on Amazon Now!
(http://www.amazon.com/Dream-Not-Imagined-Cinderella-Story-ebook/dp/B00Y1PUJH4/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1432257980&sr=8-1&keywords=shantelle+mary+hannu+6)

ADD TO GOODREADS
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/25331538-a-dream-not-imagined?from_search=true

Giveaway!

Enter the rafflecopter form for a chance to win a kindle copy of A Dream Not Imagined and a $5 Amazon giftcard!
One winner will be chosen May 31st, and I will send the kindle book and gift card to their email.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Blog Tour Schedule

Thursday, May 28th

Shantelle Hannu at A Writer’s Heart (http://shantellemaryh.blogspot.com/) – It’s published!!!

Cookielover at The Story Forest (http://lulu-renee-writes.tumblr.com/) – Author Interview

Laura Pol at Crafty Booksheeps (http://craftybooksheeps.blogspot.com/) – Character Introduction

Amanda Beguerie at Scattered Journal Pages (https://scatteredjournalpages.com/) – Book Review

Kendra Ardnek at Knitted by God’s Plan (http://knittedbygodsplan.blogspot.com/) – Author Interview

Natasha at Through My Lens (http://tashahphotography.blogspot.com/) – Character Interview with Cinderella

Kaycee Browning at The Pink Cave (http://thepinkcave.blogspot.com/) – Author Interview

Friday, May 29th

Deborah O’Carroll at The Road of a Writer (https://deborahocarroll.wordpress.com/) – Author ‘Cinderella-themed’ Interview

Claire Banschbach at The Overactive Imagination (https://clairembanschbach.wordpress.com/) – Book Review

Ghost Ryter at Anything, Everything (http://ghostryter.blogspot.com/) – Author Interview

Skye Hoffert at Ink Castles (http://skyehoffert.blogspot.ca/) – Character Interview with The Stepsisters

Natacha at Mi Baile Perfecto (https://mibaileperfecto.wordpress.com/) – Author Interview

Saturday, May 30th

Hannah Williams at The Writer’s Window (http://williamshsj.blogspot.com/) – Author Interview

Raechel at God’s Peculiar Treasure (https://godspeculiartreasurerae.wordpress.com/) – Book Review

C.B. Cook at The World of the Writer (https://theworldofthewriter.wordpress.com/) – Character Interview with The Stepmother

Lena K. at Read, Write, Laugh, DANCE (https://readwritelaughdance.wordpress.com/) – Character Spotlight (The Fairy Godmother)

Sierra at Flights from the Aerie (http://flightsfromtheaerie.blogspot.com/) – Author Interview

Sunday, May 31st

Shantelle Mary Hannu at A Writer’s Heart (http://shantellemaryh.blogspot.com/) – Tour Wrap Up and Excerpt

May 26, 2015May 25, 2015

I’m Fighting

It’s Monday night.

I’m tired. I don’t really want to write a blog post.

I cooked, cleaned, washed dishes, did tons of laundry, watched my brother, and attempted to write an essay for a scholarship contest.

I’ve had a long day, and I don’t feel like writing.

I’d honestly rather chill out in my bed, with a book that hasn’t been written yet. (Favorite authors, keep writing for me. I can’t stand waiting.)

I want to give into my introverted self and hole away in my room, read for ten hours straight, and magically receive a bunch of emails and texts from people I miss without being the first to send the message. I want to sulk for a million hours, and give up on life. I don’t have the experience. I don’t always have motivation. I’m so done with school. And I just want to be selfish and make life about me. Right now, I want life to do what I want, what I think is best for me, and whatever my snobby little emotions want.

And, though I think it would be nice, I’m not giving in because it’s not going to fix me.

And it’s a good thing, too, because when I give in to self-pity, not only is it pitiful, but it is even more discouraging. Hello world, I’m human too. More than I’d like to admit.

So I keep on fighting. Fighting to get my joy back. Fighting to be strengthened. Fighting to find truth amidst the lies. Fighting to regain hope in hard times. Fighting to remember where true love comes from. Fighting to remember God has a plan. And life isn’t about me, so I shouldn’t try to make it seem like it is.

Believe it or not, fighting is hard. Because the not-so-smart human nature in the back of my head says, “Go do pointless things for hours on end. Life is all about you. Go sulk. Go ignore everything. You’ll be happy.”

But will that make me “better?” No, it won’t. I know it won’t. I know that giving into that selfishness will not make me happy because I’ve tried.

Trust me, writing three blog posts a week is tiring. It is really hard. It is hard, because I can barely keep up with school, reading books, and writing, and then having time after that to do what I want. But do you know why I keep up?

I keep up because God has called me to write. God has not called me to wade waist-deep in self-pity, waste time, and sulk. God has called me, an introvert, to use my voice. Right now, I can’t get up in front of 10,000 people and share my life story. Maybe that will come at some point, I don’t know. What I do know, is that my voice right now is being expressed online, writing three times a week, for Him. And whether I like it or not (though I do like it), this is my platform that He has called me to share on. Even if I were to only have had five followers, if God had given me the opportunity to share Him with the world, I would still write.

So I won’t let my selfish sin nature get in the way of sharing the Gospel with twenty-two countries. (Yeah!)

I want to encourage all of you today, to keep on doing what God has given you the opportunity to do and has called you to. Living for God isn’t our obligation (although it’s the wisest thing and He wants us to). Living for God is our joy!

As I write this, my mood is brightening. (I’m not kidding.) Do you know why? Because my satisfaction is found in living for God, not living for myself. I am satisfied and filled up in living a life that is pleasing to God, because deep down, that is what my heart craves. My heart “wants” to be happy, but it can only be truly satisfied by a life abiding in Christ.

So this is why I write.

I do not write for money. (I have to pay to write, actually.) I do not write because it saves me time. (It takes me a lot of time.) I do not write because it makes me famous. (Probably, I’m the least famous out of everyone I know.) I do not write because it looks good on my résumé. (I don’t even have a résumé. I’m fifteen years old.)

I write, because this is the life God has given me. This is what He is calling me to, even though it’s small. This is growing my own faith. This helps me remember that life isn’t all about me. This helps me remember the joy that comes from a life with Christ. By writing even when I don’t feel like it, my own heart is encouraged because I know that this is what abiding in Christ feels like. I am getting to know Him more and more, day by day, and I am satisfied because living my life this way isn’t about me.

I’m glad that life isn’t about me.

I have laid my heart to rest in the satisfaction of Christ. I am pressing on toward the goal. I am fighting, and I am not letting my sinful nature win.

Because if I were to let my sin nature win, I would never taste satisfaction in those shallow, earthly pleasures.

My heart has been won over, and I am living a life dedicated to Christ.

*aj

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