Happy Saturday, friends!
Today’s the last blog post of the month. Which means, it’s time for a May recap!
Wow, this month went by fast. Guess they all do. Regardless, it’s the end now. And a lot’s happened this month!
For When We Just Don’t Feel Like It
“I don’t feel like it today.”
The whisper leaves my lips as I struggle to understand what I’m really saying.
“I don’t want to pray right now.”
It’s shameful to admit. When feelings drive me toward to a place of deception and poor judgment.
“I don’t want to read my Bible today.”
I’ve felt that feeling all too often. Now, let me get things straight before I say something I don’t mean.
Christians, Other People Are Not the Real Enemy.
Christians, other people are not the real enemy.
In the crazy world we live in, its so easy to think that everyone hates us, everyone opposes us, and we’re the only ones that are “right.”
It’s easy to stand back and judge the world, those people who we refer to as our “enemies.”
And yeah, we probably have good reason to.
The people that want to take away our freedoms – freedoms to speak and think as we please – those people, well, they’re not our favorite.
But those very same people that we’re shouting “You’re the enemy!” at, we’re simultaneously judging. And that’s not okay.
Continue reading “Christians, Other People Are Not the Real Enemy.”
Girl Defined Book Release!
I’m really excited for the release of Girl Defined, if you hadn’t noticed! I’ve been blasting Twitter with quotes, pictures, videos, and all that lovely stuff that comes with a book’s release.
Real Trust in The Lord
We’ve probably heard them all a thousand times. Written them on index cards, saved them as our lock screen wallpaper, pinned them, Tweeted them, and posted them on Facebook.
What is “them?”
Bible verses. The ones we memorized as Sunday School Kids, highlighted in our first Bibles, and became deaf to because we’d heard them so many times.
That Powerful Verse became absolutely cliché. Trust in the Lord, yada yada. For God so loved the world, blah blah blah. I’ve heard it all so many times. And it becomes un-life-changing, un-impressive, non-radical.
Think Before “Being Yourself.”
The empowering cultural message of today is “Be Yourself.”
And to be honest, that’s a pretty positive idea. Don’t try to fit yourself into the mold that everyone else is already in; be authentic and not fake; be uniquely you, in only the way you can be.
And in a world of unrealistically photoshopped models on magazines, pressure to be at the top, and an obsession with all the glitz and glamour of fame and riches, there’s a stark comparison of ideas we’re hearing: “Be the best,” and “Be yourself.”
“Be yourself” is generally much healthier of a message.
But it’s not where we can stop.
See, there are two sides to this issue.
The first? Don’t let anyone tell you who to be, or put pressure on you to be a pseudo-version of yourself.
But the second is toxic – don’t change who you are because only you know who you want to be.
Perhaps the word “toxic” is too harsh, but the point remains. If we think we’re all set with no room for the Holy Spirit to work in our lives, we mislead ourselves.
I know this verse is somewhat out of the context of the passage, but the truth remains:
1 John 1:8
“If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.”
By nature, we’re flawed, sinful humans. By simply embracing our selfish selves, we let sinful thoughts and actions reign over our existence. I’m not saying that we’re not saved, we’re just not going to mature and become more Christlike.
If being yourself means being snarky and self-centered, rude and “liberated” (aka do-whatever-you-want-without-limits), then no, you shouldn’t be yourself.
By gratifying the natural desires of the flesh, we decide that we know better. We make the decision to reject the Holy Spirit’s power in our lives and instead, indulge in attitudes and engagements that will end up hurting us later.
So where does that leave us? Is it good, or is it bad to embrace who we are?
It’s both.
It’s great to be yourself. In fact, if doing so helps you to maximize your life to grow in your faith and serve God, then by all means, go for it. We all have different personalities, appearances, passions, and dreams for a reason.
But if being yourself gives you the excuse to express yourself in ways that stunt your growth, give power to sin, or disregard the leading of the Holy Spirit, then stop.
Think.
Before listening to the so-called “empowering” message of embracing ourselves as we are, let us look above the noise and onto truth.
Will our actions lead us to God, or away from Him?
Will we be using them to serve Him, or just ourselves?
Will the glory go to us after all, or to God?
Does this help us to become the person God has for us to be?
In the end, these questions can only be answered by you. What are your intentions in embracing your inner self?
We can either use our lives to serve God, or serve ourselves – to scream about freedom in Christ or freedom in worldly living – to listen to the Holy Spirit or to listen to the Devil.
What will you choose today?
Today, I choose to think before instinctively being “myself.”
*aj
How to Help a Hurting Friend
Maybe I talk about hurt too much. Maybe I’ve mentioned depression and stress and anxiety and failure so often that I sound like I need serious help.
If I do, I’m sorry.
But we can’t ignore pain.
As I sit here at my computer, I’m gazing out the window at the wet earth around me.
It’s been raining for days. A bone-chilling draft penetrates my skin, enough so that nothing warms me, not even my cup of coffee, and my beef stew is long-since hot.
Sometimes, that’s what hurt feels like, whether it’s mental, emotional, or physical.
It’s uncomfortable, and not something easily shaken away. Pain lingers, with no button to press or Band-Aid to put on to make it all better.
I’ve been on both sides of hurt. I’ve had friends in need, and I myself have had times like those as well.
Perhaps you’re mainly on the other side of things; watching friends suffer, and not knowing how to help them. Or maybe you’re the hurting one. Maybe people see you in need of help and ask, “What can I do for you?” and you simply respond, “Nothing, I’m good,” with a fake smile plastered on, reminiscent of Barbie.
But no matter how strong we are, or at least how strong we pretend to be, we’re all weak on the inside. We all need people around us to support us and help us to heal.
Are you wondering how to help a hurting friend? Here are three ways.
Pray For Them.
There’s nothing more beautiful and powerful than prayer. When a friend tells you, “I’ve been praying for you,” it’s touching. To think that someone would take the time to implore the Creator of the universe on our behalf is one of the kindest things we can hear.
Yes, because it’s a thoughtful gesture, but more so because we know that prayer works. Perhaps not always in the fix-it-quick way we might think, but in the way that God knows is best.
Sometimes, I can feel that someone’s been praying for me, when a weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I just feel free.
It’s a blessing to get a text a little while later, saying, “Hey Amanda, I prayed for you today. How are you doing?”
Wow.
James 5:16
“Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.”
Stay With Them.
It’s almost hypocrisy to flee upon finding out someone’s aching, after promising to be there for them.
It’s easy to walk out of a friendship when the person’s fallen into difficult days, for it requires no energy on our part.
But please, I beg of you, if you want to help your hurting friend, stick by them. Stay alongside them when they tell you they’re “fine.” Don’t judge them when they refuse help – sometimes, they’re just testing you to see if you’ll remain by their side, because it’s what they really need.
Don’t give up on your friend. Forgive them if they’ve damaged your friendship. Keep loving them, even when they act like they don’t want to be loved. Trust me, they do.
Proverbs 17:17
“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”
Galatians 6:2
“Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”
Encourage Them.
Encouragement is incredible. It has an innate power to keep us running when we want to give up. It inspires us to push on toward our goals. It motivates us to get out of bed in the morning because we know we are cared for.
Whether sharing Bible verses, sweet, comforting words, sending a care package or letter, or just letting someone know that they’re not alone, encouragement of all kinds is a blessing.
To your hurting friend (or perhaps even you), it may mean the world.
And don’t give up. Keep encouraging them and lavishing the love of Christ on your friend.
1 Thessalonians 5:11
“Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.”
*aj
There Is Always Grace
I’ve been really stressed out this week.
You’d think that for a girl who wrote about stress as the very first topic in her book, that I’d be all set.
But I’m not.
People that try to say that stress is nonexistent are wrong, because it totally does exist. And I’m wary to admit it, but stress does consume me sometimes, especially on weeks like this.
(I promise I won’t talk about my problems too much; I just want to give you guys some background.)
Most of you know that I’m doing Camp NaNoWriMo this month. I was doing great, but then I had a week of driver’s ed.
That was all last week. Six hours a day, five days in a row, on what was supposed to be my vacation. It wasn’t terrible, it really wasn’t, but it completely sapped my energy and I wrote a total of 300 words in that entire week, when I can usually write 300 in ten minutes. A writing rut, folks.
*cue dramatic sighing*
Plus, I have some things going on Friday through next week and I’m a little frazzled.
Well, maybe “a little” is an understatement. But I digress.
The point I want to make here is that as Christians, we try to come up with all these “cures” and “reliefs” for stress, when in reality, we’re only masking the problems. Things like “believing harder” or “confessing our sinfulness” or something.
We’re not really dealing with the issue of being stressed, we’re just telling ourselves that we shouldn’t be. But that isn’t fixing anything.
Before you write me off as super-religious, vague, and unhelpful, let me attempt to explain what I mean.
Stress, in and of itself, is not bad. In fact, it can be helpful when trying to achieve a goal. Deadlines are beneficial, and a little extra adrenaline never hurt anyone. Stress can motivate us to just do it.
But the scary part comes in when we’re so overwhelmed by stress that we let it overtake us. We let our feelings consume us and blind us to the hope we have.
Instead of letting stress dictate how we live our lives, we can live in grace. We can know that failing does not make us failures, as I wrote about on Saturday. We can know that we are loved no matter what we do, instead of thinking that our worth is based on our performance. We can know that nothing can separate us from Christ’s love.
I believe that much of our stresses revolve around having to get things done.
For me, this week, it’s studying enough for my test on Monday, completing 6,000 more words before Saturday, and juggling life on top of that.
Part of me is screaming “I CAN’T DO ALL THIS!” because it probably is too much, in the first place. But the other part of me is listening to the lies that are telling me it’s the end of the world if:
1) I fail my test,
2) I don’t get 6k written by the end of the week,
3) I miss another commitment,
4) I keep forgetting to respond to my emails,
5) I don’t write one blog post,
6) I let my friends down,
7) I don’t get to read quickly through the books people are depending on me to review.
I have this weight that’s pulling me down, because I feel like I have to do everything, and everything flawlessly. Is that possible? No. Do I make myself try anyway, and crush myself in the process? Why yes, yes I do. Is it smart or wise? Absolutely not. Do I know this? Yes, I do.
So what is wrong with me???
I have let stress overtake me and affect my thoughts.
I have decided to forget the truths in the Bible that remind me that I need not be perfect. I’ve forgotten the fact that my sins, NEVERMIND MY TEENY LITTLE MISTAKES, were all covered at The Cross. I’ve forgotten that the problems of the world are not my own, that I’m not responsible for other people, that it won’t kill off the world’s population if I take a little break from blogging.
God’s truths of grace and love do not depend on how well I live my life. If they did, I’d be in trouble. His grace stands in the places where I need it most, and His love endures when I feel the most unlovable.
Maybe I’m writing this post just for me today. Maybe I’m the only one that needs to remember that stress doesn’t have to control every hour of my life.
Maybe I’m the only one that needs a reminder of renewed grace for each day. Maybe I’m the only one that needs to be encouraged, especially when I do fail (because I’m very far from perfect).
Maybe I’m the only one that needs to be reminded to do MY best, and not necessarily expect myself to do THE best. I’ll do the best I can, but not beat myself up over what I wasn’t capable of.
But if that’s you too, please know that you’re not alone.
If you’re stressed out of your mind, I won’t try to “fix it,” I’ll only say this. You are not alone. You do not have to handle everything yourself; take some pressure off. And I promise, there is always grace for you.
*aj
Scattered Journal Pages 